As I approached the exit, I heard this employee say, "...and this guy, you know the 'tranny' who comes in here..." I immediately turned around and said loudly, "Did you just say tranny?"

He responded with a mumbled "sorry" and a smirk. The entire store went silent. I told him that "sorry" isn't sufficient when accompanied by a smirk. I also said that the term "tranny" is offensive and demeaning and not appropriate in a business setting. He turned around and ran into the back office. I asked the other clerks for his name, and they told me it was "Bee." I then asked if a manager was around, but there was none, so I left.

After getting home I tried to find the franchise information. I left a voicemail at the restaurant, then contacted 7-Eleven's corporate offices and filed a complaint. The franchise called me within an hour and said that they were not sure it was one of their stores - she said it looked like that particular store had been sold and that I should work with corporate.

Corporate emailed me the next day and said they would need a few days to investigate. On Tuesday, May 7, I followed up with corporate and they expressed surprise that the franchise owner, whose name is Liz Ulstott, had not called me back. They followed up with her, and she claimed she had addressed it. The employee - I learned that his name was actually Brandon -- acknowledged he used the word but said it was a private conversation.

I politely requested that the franchise owner meet with me and two members of the community to discuss the situation and my other concerns regarding the preceding conversation and the response by Brandon's coworkers. I wanted to bring local trans advocate (and Northside resident) Eli Kuti and local Unitarian-Universalist LGBTQ minister (and Northside resident) Rev Dave McFarland together with the owners of this franchise to discuss the incident and the surrounding events, and consider how we can ensure that this store is welcoming and safe to everyone. They refused, and I was told that 7-Eleven would have no further comment on the issue.

First, corporate is well aware of the situation but needs to realize that most people don't draw a distinction between individual franchises and the larger corporation. They do not stop and think "Oh, that's a franchise issue, not a reflection on the entire corporation." No, they get a negative impression of the brand itself and thus, corporate has a vested interest in facilitating a meeting and ensuring the community that 7-Eleven is a welcoming and safe environment for all customers.

Second, one of the regional people who spoke with me didn't know what the term "tranny" meant and even asked me how to spell it. When I offered her a few comparable terms (f*g and c*nt), she was shocked but still didn't really understand -- even though I know 7-Eleven has trans customers and I bet more than a few employees. So this is a bit odd.

Third, everyone has a connection to Pittsburgh. We call it the "Steeler Nation:" people all over the world love our city (and of course, the Steelers). Whether you live here yourself, your grandma lives here, you went to college here, or you came to Pride or Netroots Nation or Creating Change here, you have an interest in creating a safe and welcoming business community.

I've created a Change.org petition asking the franchise owners to meet with community members to discuss this incident. I hope you'll consider signing it.

The petition has already gathered some notable signatories, including Pittsburgh City Councilman R. Daniel Lavelle, whose district includes this business and my personal neighborhood. Faculty and staff from the nearby community college, as well as other nearby business owners, have been vigorously signing and commenting; they don't want our neighborhood to be defined by this ugly slur or 7-Eleven's subsequent refusal to work with concerned members of our community.

I've also been approached quietly by several members of the trans community who don't feel safe or comfortable signing the petition. As allies, I believe it's our job to hear that vulnerability and step up even more, so I've been reaching out to PFLAG and other organizations that specifically exist to provide the support and encouragement people need.

So why all this effort?

It is important that business owners take steps to ensure everyone feels safe and welcome in their establishment. We believe a face-to-face meeting with a small group of community leaders can open a dialogue to create a welcoming environment. The meeting would include three people: a local pastor who is part of the LGBTQ community, a local trans man, and myself, a lesbian. All three of us live in the neighborhood.

Our goal is to simply ensure the owner understands that even a private conversation using an offensive and hateful slur sends a message to everyone in hearing range. Personal opinions need to be expressed in private, not while in uniform waiting on customers at a register. We're not demanding that Brandon be fired, because we don't want him to lose his job. Instead, we want Brandon to understand that the words he chooses to use while at work reflect on his professionalism and sends a message about the values of the business he works for. That's a good life lesson for anyone to learn, but Brandon's managers and the 7-Eleven corporate team needs to learn it as well. Finally, during this meeting we hope to discuss ways of ensuring that the community, both geographic and LGBTQ, feels safe and welcome in this store.

While I recognize that this incident occurred in a franchise, we are including 7-Eleven corporate in this petition in hopes that they will support our request and encourage their franchisee to sit down and meet with us.

Thank you again for signing the petition, and many thanks to Monica Roberts for her advice and feedback.

Sign the petition here.

I've been sending the questionnaire to LGBT folks and allies, too. I'm willing to print anyone's response barring inclusion of hateful content or libel. To date, I've had more than a dozen responses, mostly from allies.

The responses to this question in particular have been pretty amazing: Tell us about the very first LGBTQ person you met and what that meant for you.

Some of the responses are after the break.

The funniest moment was when he came out to us. Not about being gay, we knew that. Everyone at our table was a Star Wars fan, he came out as a Trekkie. It didn't matter he was still one of us! (and frankly I am a bit of Trekkie too, I just kept it quiet!)
-- Joe Wos, Executive Director of The Toonseum talking about his 9th grade friend Brandon.

Like others in my generation, I grew up with friends and relatives who I now know were LGBTQ; but for the most part, no one acknowledged anything. What I learned in those early years was how bigotry and hate flourished when no one spoke out. I believe the first LGBTQ person who came out to me was a wonderful college roommate. She very patiently educated me about her life and her decision to come out.
-- Jeanne Clark, candidate for City Council (& one of the cofounders of Pittsburgh's ACT!UP)

But juxtapose that with the era, 1970's, unfortunately, the young man took a fair amount of verbal abuse from others.. me included unfortunately. I think back on that often and how my views have broadened and how now, I would be scolding/educating my own child for doing that.
-- Blogger John describing the 8th grade boy in his school.

It absolutely floored me. Somewhere in a place called "Greenwich Village" (which I'm sure I must have pronounced in my head as Green-Witch) there were people who were just like me and they were very mad and fighting back. I bet my face turned about 30 different shades of red and I was so terrified that someone in my family might have seen me looking at it that I immediately threw the magazine under the coffee table ... and throughout the day kept sneaking back to take a peak at that picture.
-- Ted Hoover, coordinator with Persad Center discussing his first realization that other gay people existed.

The first LGBTQ person that I ever met was my cousin, Darrin. We were the same age and we were very close. We grew up in the 70's, so people would refer to him as a sissy and would often treat him badly. I was Darrin's protector. I would not let people tease or bully him.
-- Tonya Payne, candidate for Pittsburgh City Council.

But I think one of the most profound comments was the closing paragraph from Joe Wos' response, describing an encounter he had after work one day.

Not long ago I was leaving a bar on Liberty Avenue close to the ToonSeum. A few days later someone came up to me concerned and said "Joe, I saw you leaving that gay bar on Liberty... Are you gay?" I looked at him and said "You seem concerned that it was a 'Gay' bar. It was a bar maybe I am just an alcoholic" and I walked away.

Liberty Avenue was once the home of most of the "gay bars" in Pittsburgh and the setting for "Queer as Folk." The Toonseum is located next to one of the remaining bars. Liberty Avenue had a bit of a seedy reputation, but is now being a bit gentrified and connected to Pittsbugh's Cultural District.

A few "trends" I've noticed include a generational shift - adults over 35 tend to have a more specific memory of their first encounter with a person who is LGBT whereas several of the younger respondents simply always knew someone. There's also this bullying theme - some respondents were protectors, others look back with regret at their actions or their lack of information. And a few admit to being bullies.

I've found that this little feature has moved me on a much deeper level than I anticipated; it is an opportunity to get to know allies and learn what resonated with them to make a cultural shift to that role. And in each case, it is about relationships.

This is why it really matters that NBA player Jason Collins has come out as the first openly gay man active in professional sports. Collins made a humorous reference to "Three Degrees of Jason Collins" to emphasize that everyone knows someone who is LGBT - and that's perhaps the most hopeful takeaway.

LGBTQ&A focuses on LGBTQA folks in Western Pennsylvania, but I think the stories resonated anywhere.

I recently co-wrote a piece with queer blogger Ian Awesome titled "Sexual Assault and Rape Culture are LGBTQ Issues" and the response has been humbling.

I invite you to join our "Day of Blogging" to ensure that queer voices are part of a changing conversation. You can find out how to get involved after the break.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Bloggers in Pittsburgh invite you to participate in a "Day of Blogging" to help change the conversation - from victim blaming to preventing rape, from "scary stranger in the dark" to the prevalence of intimate partner sexual violence, from assuming women are the only victims to a broader understanding of the impact of sexual assault in the queer community.

To participate, we ask you to create one blog post or one social media post (G+, Facebook, Instagram, etc) on this topic - from your own perspective, using your own words. We will also be using this opportunity to encourage readers to support an important community organization, Pittsburgh Action Against Rape through this CrowdRise campaign - every $5 we raise will help to change the conversation through education, counseling and training. ** This event is not sponsored by or officially connected with PAAR - this is a private fundraiser, but through Crowdrise all funds collecte will go directly to PAAR.

The data is disheartening but - hopefully - inspires you to start your own conversation.

The CDC recently released the first set of national data on the prevalence of intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking victimization by sexual orientation, based on 2010 data:

• Approximately one in eight lesbians (13.1 percent), nearly half of bisexual women (46.1 percent) and one in six heterosexual women (17.4 percent) have been raped in their lifetime. This translates to an estimated 214,000 lesbians, 1.5 million bisexual women and 19 million heterosexual women.
• Almost half of bisexual women (48.2 percent) and more than a quarter of heterosexual women (28.3 percent) were first raped between the ages of 11 and 17.
• Nearly half of bisexual men (47.4 percent), four in 10 gay men (40.2 percent) and one in five heterosexual men (20.8 percent) have experienced sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime. This translates to nearly 1.1 million gay men, 903,000 bisexual men, and 21.6 million heterosexual men.

Additionally, a 2009 study revealed that approximately 50 percent of transgender people experience sexual violence at some point in their lifetime.

This new conversation is not limited to Pittsburgh - anyone can participate. For more information, please visit our Change the Conversation page.

Ian Harvie bills himself as "Stand Up Comic. Trans Man Superhero. Dog wrangler. Closet Cowboy." Intrigued? We were so we took a moment to email him about his art and his upcoming show in Pittsburgh.

Interview is after the break.

IH: I love PITT and I have some friends there that I would like to see. I know economically it has been a sad place but there is a vibe and a spirit there of working class folk, which I love, and is in my own background. I'd like to go to the most local of establishments and try to blend in for an evening. Also if it were were warmer I'd want to swimming, I'm obsessed with fresh water swimming! Might be too cold for that end of April.

SK:Your bio mentions that you adore Carol Burnett. What's your favorite skit or character?

IH: There's not a single sketch I didn't like I love Carol Burnett but I also love ALL her castmates too, Vicky Lawrence, Tim Conway, Harvey Corman, Lyle Wagner (early years). I loved Eunice, she can never get a break with her Mom, its kind of a typical Mother daughter relationship in a lot of ways. Mrs. Wiggins, the inept secretary to Mr. Tubball, their timing was spot on and brilliant. I love when they would break the 4th wall and crack up laughing, I would laugh right along with them and somehow felt part of their jokes. I was also really into Flip Wilson and his Geraldine character and all his faces. He did great faces.

SK:Tell me about the very first LGBTQ person you met and what that meant for you.

IH: The first LGBT person I met was gay boy, that was my brother Jeff, but I didn't know he was gay until later post high school. The next person I met was a kid in high school who got thrown down two flights of stairs for being, what was thought to be gay at the time, now I realize he was being gender-bashed for being effeminate. Most people are not gay-bashed, they're usually gender-bashed, based on how the outside world perceives that person's masculinity or femininity. I didn't know that kid in high school but I definitely had sad and scared feelings for him and his life back then, but didn't have a clue what to do with them. Then there was the first girl I kissed, she was a highly confident and sexual lesbian, named Michelle. She freed my narrow thoughts about thinking that I had to date or be interested in men. I had girl crushes for years but didn't know where to place them. She was my first girl kiss and it changed my life in the best way forever. Then the first trans man I met was about 12 years ago at a community event, he was introducing Les Feinberg, author of Stone Butch Blues and I was blown away and began to quietly cry at the event, saying to myself, that's me, that's me, that's me!! I introduced myself after it was over and PJ was the first trans man I had ever met, and that too changed my life. I had met many trans women and beautiful gender bending queers who were bending more in the femme direction and PJ was my first example of female to masculine in a way that i really plugged into. Since my first kiss with a girl to now, I've been on a mission of expansion, that's a hard train to stop once you start. I mean, once you strip away all the bullshit you've ever been told about how you "should be" in the world, from religion, politics, gender, relationships, and career, and rebuild it the way YOU see it; there's kind of no turning back to that old way of thinking.

SK:Your description of gender identity is pretty complex. Do you get pushback on that from the LGBTQ community?

IH: You think its complex? Is it strange that I think its super simple? I rarely get push back and I think its because how people identify is NOT up for debate. I don't argue with sects of my community, how everyone id's slightly differently. Some id as real 100% pure XYZ.. Maybe as an example in the "L" portion of the community there is straight-up woman on woman love, some are Butch/Butch, some are Butch/Femme, some are andro, some are sporty, some are L-Word Shane style Lesbians, some are young Justin Beiber dykes, its all beautiful and varying and I don't dispute what anyone has come to in their life and the words they use to describeit. Its rare that others dispute mine and besides that shit isn't up for public discussion! Sometimes people make it seem like their asking a question but they're really questioning you if you're sure of who you are, or trying to make it sound like what/who you are is weird/wrong. I know the difference and I don't engage with anyone who is like that, in/out of the LGBTQ community. That would be a waste of breath. I trust that when people tell me who they are that they are not lying, I expect the same of others and I pretty much get it.

(To read more about Harvie and enter for a chance to win two tickets to his Pittsburgh show, visit Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents.)

Did the great avatar swap on Facebook have any impact? US Senators are now coming out in support of marriage equality - only nine Democrats left to go.

So, yes, you can demonstrate that changing your avatar had an impact - on you. How?

• Use his official contact page to send an email.
• By phone to his office in DC (202) 224-6324
• By Twitter @SenBobCasey
• Sign the petition sponsored by Equality Pennsylvania.

What do you say? Here's what Equality PA suggests:

As thousands of gay and lesbian couples across Pennsylvania are doing the hard work of raising kids and building strong families, we shouldn't have to worry that DOMA will deny us the ability to protect our families when we need to most.

Senator Casey, do what's right for Pennsylvania families!

I'd suggest:

.@SenBobCasey, I live in PA and deserve equal protection under the law. Pls support #marriageequality

It is simple way to demonstrate that your support for our families goes beyond a fun Facebook moment. For what its worth, the visual impact of the red avatars was very powerful for me; it shifted something in me to witness so much love and support. Thank you for making that happen.

I hope I can now count on you to keep up the momentum. Pennsylvania is going to have a long drawn out transition to marriage equality - decades perhaps. We need strong leadership now to support my family and all of our LGBT sisters and brothers in Pennsylvania.

And, yes, of course, even if you do not live in Pennsylvania you can help. Contact your own Senators, share this post with your friends in PA, tweet, email, etc. The point is that I believe you will take another 2 minutes and then another. Before long, you are with us for the long haul!

(Graphic credit: Sue Kerr)

One of the most hotly discussed topics in this genre is the potential LGBT storylines. This week I'm focusing on General Hospital on ABC. Speculation is half the fun and all things point to a potential gay supercouple plan for GH.

GH is celebrating its 50th year in production with a big splashy return of the Nurse's Ball and all of the beloved characters from the 80's and 90's - Laura Webber Spencer, Scott Baldwin, Lucy Coe, Frisco Jones, Felicia Scorpio Jones, Bobbie Spencer Jones, Nikolas Cassadine, Brenda Barrett and Jasper Jacks among others.

There have been vampires, impersonations, kidnappings (multiple), murders, orphans, reunions, pregnancy lies, and lots of glorious soapy intrigue. The big reveal is which of the "big bads" will show up - the Cassadines, Faison or Jerry Jax?

If you recall, the show had a storyline where Lucas Jones, adopted son of Bobbie Spencer and Tony Jones, came out. Lucas was a teenager. Tony was cool and assured his son he loved him, then sadly died in an outbreak at the hospital. Bobbie wasn't so cool with it, but came around. Then Lucas disappeared and we just learned that Bobbie is living in Seattle - she's back for the Nurse's Ball.

Last year, GH introduced Felix DuBois - male student nurse. No coming out story - Felix was out and proud. He has a crush on Milo (mob enforcer/bodyguard) and is best friends with nurse Sabrina. Felix is a bit effeminate, but he's also smart, cares about his job and has healthy, positive relationships with various people including young Emma Scorpio Drake. He's a great secondary cast member and I challenge those who say he's a stereotype to rethink their understanding of the genre.

We also had a very soapy hint this week - Bobbie Spencer Jones mentioned her gay son, Lucas, and her hope he would meet a nice guy. Cut to Felix sadly discussing his romantic life. Duh-duh-duh.

I've fleshed out five possible LGBTQ storylines for General Hospital at my blog, Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents. Please weigh in with your thoughts.

Days of Our Lives has had a marvelous unfolding of their gay supercouple "WilSon" over the past year. Sonny Kiriakis and Will Horton are both legacy characters, easy to like and coping with the good soapy stuff any heterosexual couple faces - including a custody battle. They even have a "big bad" in the form of Nick Fallon (also a legacy character) who is married to the mother of Will's daughter and also happens to be Will's cousin. Nick was released from prison last year and is being played as sort of a techie genius with a malicious streak that belies his heritage as part of the saintly Hortons.

Why is Nick homophobic? Well, that's the two-dollar question. The suggestion seems to be that he wasn't raised that way by his Horton clan. For a while, he had us convinced it was religious but Father Eric (Will's uncle) sort of put the kibosh on that one.

All signs point to Nick being raped by Vargas and displacing his reaction to hating gay people. It is a terrible idea in so many ways; I am hoping they don't go there. But Days tapes months ahead of time and we are reaching a denouement of both Nick's homophobic actions and Vargas' entry into Salem. I am willing to give Days a chance to tell the story with nuance and perhaps in a helpful manner. General Hospital had a similar storyline for young Michael Corinthos, but his anger was turned on his family and himself - not gay people. Of course, there were no gay people in Port Charles at that time.

But the reaction of the fans is horrifying. Some fans of "WilSon" want Nick to have been raped as some sort of punishment for hurting their beloved couple. Others think it is the only reason Nick could be so homophobic. Both show a lack of understanding of some of the important facts: 1) being raped doesn't turn anyone gay, 2) rape is wrong. Period. End of story. No one deserves it. And 3) rape is not about sexual attraction.

Finally, Vargas himself does not appear to be gay. So if Vargas forced Nick to have anal or oral sex, that is not a gay storyline. And while Nick's character may also ignorantly transfer his feelings of anger and violation (and shame) onto the perception that he was "gay-raped," Days has a responsibility to clarify that there is no such thing.

In the weeks following the verdict in the Steubenville rape trial, it is imperative that Days get this right. The best way to do so is make sure that viewers hear these messages - even if in the form of a PSA at the end of the episode.

(For my wishlist on how this can play out, visit Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents.)

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Rape, Victim Blaming

The conviction of two young men for raping an unconscious young woman challenges us to rethink our assumptions about youth, the legal system, and sexual assault.

We are both survivors of sexual assault. In the light of media responses to and other narratives established around the Steubenville rape scandal, we were prompted to discuss our experiences openly and honestly in order to give context to a complicated and uncomfortable topic. This is our first public discussion, a discussion that we agreed is necessary to illustrate the pervasive nature of the "culture of rape" and the need for the entire LGBTQ community to be allies to all survivors.

Ian is a former meth user who is currently in recovery. During his times using, his intoxicated state prevented him from giving informed consent, leading him to be sexually assaulted several times. For months after his experience, he was unable to admit to himself that he had been raped, a result of socialization that made it difficult to conceptualize that a man could be victimized in that way.

We were both disappointed to read a tweet by respected gay blogger John Aravosis in which he implied that alcohol consumption should have been a consideration in the Steubenville case, and that the survivor needed to make a positive impression on him:

To be fair, after a heated discussion on Twitter, Aravosis apologized. Moreover, we don't necessarily know that he intended to imply any culpability on the survivor's part, as he insisted that his focus of blame was on the perpetrators. However, we feel compelled to explore how sentiments like those expressed in his original tweet exacerbate the damage of assault.

First, alcohol consumption and abuse by teenagers is a serious issue, but impaired judgment in no way changes the rules of consent, and discussing the young woman's drunkenness in this manner certainly does imply that she had responsibility in her horrific experience because of her intoxication, whether or not that's what Aravosis intended to suggest. Aravosis is right to be concerned about alcohol abuse, but he's conflating issues in this context. Alcohol did not plant the seed to rape this young woman, and it certainly did not fuel the ensuing social media flurry and coverup.

Second, members of the LGBTQ community should be on the front lines in the army of allies to survivors. The misogyny that reduces women to sexual toys is the same misogyny that underscores much of the homophobic and transphobic attitudes in our culture. We have high standards for our allies; we would never quietly stand by while someone asked if alcohol abuse was a concern in the murder of Matthew Shepard or the suicide of Tyler Clementi. The bar should be equally high when it comes to acknowledging and supporting survivors of sexual assault.

Finally, rape is not solely a women's issue. Rape is a human issue. A society that tolerates the atrocities that took place in Steubenville is a society that embraces a "culture of rape," and that threatens everyone. The survivor deserves compassion and support because she endured a brutal assault and is a sister human bring, not because she "impresses" us.

The CDC recently released the first set of national data on the prevalence of intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking victimization by sexual orientation, based on 2010 data:

- Approximately one in eight lesbians (13.1 percent), nearly half of bisexual women (46.1 percent) and one in six heterosexual women (17.4 percent) have been raped in their lifetime. This translates to an estimated 214,000 lesbians, 1.5 million bisexual women and 19 million heterosexual women.

- Almost half of bisexual women (48.2 percent) and more than a quarter of heterosexual women (28.3 percent) were first raped between ages 11-17.

- Nearly half of bisexual men (47.4 percent), four in 10 gay men (40.2 percent) and one in five heterosexual men (20.8 percent) have experienced sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime. This translates to nearly 1.1 million gay men, 903,000 bisexual men, and 21.6 million heterosexual men.

Additionally, a 2009 study revealed that approximately 50 percent of transgender people experience sexual violence at some point in their lifetime.

The data are clear. We are in a serious crisis when an educated and intelligent man like John Aravosis does not get that questioning the conduct of a survivor of sexual assault, no matter how the question is couched, reinforces a cultural assumption that survivors are responsible for preventing rape. To his credit, he listened to the pushback, apologized, and hopefully absorbed the message, not just the perceived criticism.

As a man and a gay man, Aravosis has a vested interest in changing a culture that embraces these messages. As a white man with privilege and a widely read blog, he has an opportunity to challenge the assumptions and educate other men. As an opinion leader in the LGBTQ community, he has an obligation to be fair and accurate. Conflating the issue of alcohol abuse with rape is an inaccurate reflection on the moral and legal standards around rape.

More urgently, the moral requirement is that the LGBTQ community acknowledge that sexual assault is our issue. We live in a culture that glorifies violence and excuses rape: rape of children, rape of intimate partners, rape of employees, and rape of strangers. We live in a society where funding for anti-sexual-violence programs was almost derailed because of the inclusion of provisions for LGBTQ survivors.

We would like to be honest here: We are not merely angry that our peer said something off-color or offensive; we are incredibly concerned, in this troubling age when CNN mourns the destroyed lives of young rapists, that when we begin confusing the issues in this sad case, we shift the blame away from rapists and further traumatize the survivors involved. How can this young woman heal when her own behavior is called into question? Even more pressing, how can we stop victim blaming and rape culture if we insist that rape victims "impress" us with their conduct?

Sue Kerr is a Pittsburgh-based activist and social worker. She has been blogging at Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents since 2005. You can find Sue on Twitter @PghLesbian24.

Ian Finkenbinder, aka Ian Awesome, is a Seattle-based activist and award-winning writer known for his blog OneAngryQueer. You can find him on Twitter @oneangryqueer.

• Jen is a trailblazing pioneer in the Boy Scouts of America.
• Jen is a mom (like Betty DeGeneres) who wants a better world for her kids.
• Jen and her family have a "thing" called kitchen dancing. Seriously.

So here's the deal - we need your help to encourage the Ellen Show team to invite Jen for a guest appearance. How you can help is after the jump.

Tweet "I'd like to hear @Jen_Tyrrell share her amazing story on @TheEllenShow. #GetJenOnEllen" as often as you can. You can also use #LGBT and @BoyScouts

If you don't have email, use this page to email the show.

I asked Jen to explain in her own words how this opportunity could help kids and families.

1. How can Ellen help your cause?

Ellen has Bazillions of followers. Right now we need all the support we can get.The more supportive voices the BSA hears, the more they lean toward the right decision (I hope).

2. What would your message be?

My message would be that now is the time to rally for inclusiveness. Even if people aren't really interested in the BSA, any step toward equality in one area, is a step toward equality in all areas of life.

3. What is your first memory of Ellen?

My first memory of Ellen is her sitcom that was on in the 1990?s. I used to watch and laugh and laugh. I wasn't "out" then and didn't even really know what that meant, but I was strangely drawn to Ellen.

4. If you took her a present with a scouting theme what would it be?

It would have to be an equality scouting badge with Ellen's name/face on it.

5. Do you have a dance move to show her?

Our family loves that we call "kitchen dancing". We just randomly bust out in dance moves all over the house (it originated in the kitchen). But not one in particular.

6. What do you want Ellen to say to young Scouts who are gay or have LGBTQ family?

I want Ellen to say that there is nothing wrong with families like mine. I want her to tell young scouts that we will not stop fighting until scouting is a safe place for all!

I think both Ellen and her mom should weigh in on this issue. They can appreciate the story from different viewpoints as a lesbian and a parent. And I think together they can speak out to many, many Americans about the importance of a safe Scouting experience for all.

So please tweet #GetJenOnEllen

(Crossposted at Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents)

"We had no choice," sighs City Computer Guy, Ken. "We have a computer usage policy - somewhere 'round here - hey yinz seen that folded up tablet paper with the doodle of Sophie on it?"

City employees have been flocking to the region's longest running LGBTQ blog for information to such an extent that productivity dropped noticeably. Some offices reported raucous laughter, a sudden increase in the use of "LGBT" as opposed to "the gays" and a concurrent spike in visits to General Hospital website.

Now - City employees who attempt to visit Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents encounter the dreaded screen shaming message "THIS IS PORN. A SCREEN CAPTURE HAS BEEN GENERATED AND AUTOMATICALLY SENT TO YOUR PARISH PRIEST!"

"I was stunned to read that the City Firefighters don't offer domestic partnership benefits and that gay employees have to pay extra taxes on their family health insurance," confessed one anonymous employee. "We are the 5th gayest City in America, right? Most liveable? It is like the Great Recession actually hurt gay families, too! Where else am I going to learn that information?"

Attempts to locate the computer usage policy were unsuccessful. Ken was unsure if it was on the folded up paper or perhaps the backside of the 1996 football pool - reuse is a core component of the city's sustainability efforts - but he sadly informed me that the actual policy manual had been wedged into a crevice of the City-County Building to literally shore up the building.

"Listen up, we ain't CMU down here," says Ken. "We don't have time to go around to every single city office and fine tune their web filters so they can 'do their job' ...you don't see Pittsburgh Dad moaning about not being able to look at a dy, I mean, lesbian website."

So this is satire that might only resonate with Pittsburghers (yinzers), but I urge you to visit the original blog post to see why this matters and how it ties into the larger issues around marginalizing and suppressing LGBTQ voices.

For what its worth - Bilerico is blocked on some federal servers. Pam's House Blend. Americablog. Towleroad. Some are actually categorized by content, others (like mine) are punted into the "porn" pile because of laziness that still has an impact on the work environment.

Let's hope this makes it onto the radar of the HRC Corporate Equality Index and Municipal Index as an indicator of equality.

(Crossposted at Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents. Access denied graphic via Bigstock.)

For Pennsylvania.

On the bright side, we now have two openly gay State Representatives - Mike Fleck (R) and Brian Sims (D.)

Mike is the only openly gay Republican in a statewide office nationwide - he came out after his reelection. Brian ran for his first term as an openly gay man. So in one fell swoop we have a bipartisan LGBT state caucus.

On the other hand...

Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett has opted to use some magical source of funding for a lawsuit against the NCAA over the sanctions levied against Penn State. You remember Penn State - the institutional coverup of child rape. Corbett - who is facing calls for his slow response to the initial allegations while he was Attorney General - thinks the wrong people are being punished.

While this may have negative fallout for innocent students and so forth - that's not the point. The athletic department covered up the rape of children. They also covered up 27 years of lesbian bashing by Rene Portland, but, heck, what's a generation of young women?

It is a strange set of affairs when Campus Pride bestows an award for LGBT Student Friendliness or some such thing and the Republican Governor cries foul for the poor treatment of the University - all while most of the investigation remains active, open and terrifying. Strange bedfellows and all that.

As I like to point out, we have more than 250,000 unmarried heterosexual couples in PA and around 25,000 LGBT couples. Eliminating domestic partnerships and domestic violence protections is not exactly good for Pennsylvania. Or business. Or transportation. Or our schools. Or food banks. You get my drift

My fervent hope for 2013 is that LGBTQ people and our allies accept the reality of our complete lack of legal rights with the sole exception of a court case affirming second parent adoption. Sims and Fleck are already on board with anti-discrimination legislation and anti-bullying legislation respectively. That's where our push needs to be. But it starts with education.

The 2010 census shows that LGBTQ people are moving out of Pittsburgh - one of the mosts "rights oriented" regions in the Commonwealth; clearly, something is afoot. PFLAG chapters are forming and growing strong. So are Chick-fil-A franchises. Western PA is turning red and central PA is fading into purple.

2013 is going to be a helluva ride.

You've read about the tremendous victories - the four wins on marriage equality, the 120+ electoral victories among the Victory Fund endorsed candidates and the many first - Tammy Baldwin as the first openly lesbian elected to the Senate, a bisexual Congresswoman, and the election of MANY openly gay folks on the state level. It's all good.

But ... in Western PA, it was a mixed bag. Yes, Bob Casey hung onto his Senate seat, but quasi-Democrat Mark Critz was defeated by openly tea-bag loving Keith Rothfus in a district that was allegedly gerrymandered to neatly sever the Democrats who voted John Murtha in for years. We gained a seat in the PA Senate (Matt Smith - D) and elected Dems to be Attorney General and Auditor General - welcome news.

We also elected the first openly gay man to the PA General Assembly - soon to be State Representative Brian Sims of Eastern PA. But that's also a mixed bag.

Hence the mixed bag - women of Western Pennsylvania already vastly underrepresented in Harrisburg lost a strong ally with a power base and an established ability to get things done in the Assembly. And I have concerns that the natural learning curve Sims faces will not be quick enough to protect us from most vile man in Pennsylvania (allegedly) - State Rep Daryl Metcalfe whose run ins with Josephs were the stuff of legends (amongst political junkies at least.)

Metcalfe's influence and power are frightening. He's trying to redistrict the PA House to move power from the City of Erie to the suburbs in Butler County - his base. Butler has been the loci of everything from the PA Family Association annual dinner to the intense media frenzy around Chick-fil-A - in spite of the distance from Pgh. Metcalfe is also pushing legislation to reign in gun control restrictions passed in Philly and Pittsburgh that are tighter than the states regs. He's working on voter ID and immigration and - oh, yes - his "defense of marriage protection" amendment.

Remember - PA has no statewide protections with the sole exception of a court decision protecting second parent adoption. We can be fired and denied services because we are gay. We can be victimized by hate crimes with very tenuous recourse. The list goes on and on. And worst of all - many LGBTQ folks do not realize this is the case. The education of the LGBTQ community on the state of PA should be foremost in our minds so we can rally to push back on those who want to put even more barriers to our equality.

So I'm ambivalent about the election of Sims. It is a landmark for sure, but was it in the overall best interests of Pennsylvania's LGBTQ community?

That's yet to be determined. I hope ...

For more detailed analysis, please visit my blog.

I love the soaps, or as my partner's now deceased grandmother called them "the stories."

I've cycled through favorites - beginning with Days of Our Lives, thanks to my childhood friend Sherry. I've watched Another World, Guiding Light, General Hospital, Santa Barbara and eventually As The World Turns.

More importantly to my reading little self, I kept up with ALL of the soaps via the interwebs. Wikipedia brought me up to date on the backstories and sites like SoapCentral.com have kept me current.

And through it all, I have come to the conclusion that soap operas are in fact responsible for a good deal of the breakthroughs the LGBTQ community has made in terms of public opinion.

Don't cry for me. I get by because I prefer to read - it's like a slightly trashy novel, with spoilers and lots of fun online "discussions" about the characters.

Recent circumstances have forced me to cut back on my computer time. I'm home on disability and doing volunteer work while I get a very small social media business off the ground. I've learned that my hand pain is not carpal tunnel, nor a sign of RA - rather I have a birth defect in which my carpals are fused together. Apparently, anthropologists perceive this as a possible evolutionary adaptation. But for me it means tendonitis and a wrist splint on my dominant hand.

That all means by around three in the afternoon I need a break. I've committed to powering down the PC and dutifully watching Days of Our Lives every afternoon. So I'm quite abreast on the evolving love story of characters Sonny Kiriakis and Will Horton.

These characters carry a pretty heavy burden. Days was the last soap to introduce LGBTQ characters, although technically The Bold & the Beautiful has been pretty mindless about it. I mean after all, TBTB is set in the fashion industry, unlike New England based Days or the Pennsylvania set All My Children.

Nonetheless, Will and Sonny are the young gay Days of Our Lives characters carrying on the legacy wrought so wonderfully by Bianca Montgomery (Erica Kane's daughter), Luke Snyder (son of Lily and Holden Snyder) and "Otalia" on Guiding Light. I might add that nasty Adam Newman's self-serving seduction of his male lawyer added a nice complicated edge even if it was an unpleasant soap storyline.

Will and Sonny's story has unfolded in a quasi-"normal" and soapy style. Sonny's former crimelord great uncle was fine when Sonny came out to him as were his parents. Will's Dad was cool during the coming out, then became overprotective. His mom sort of flipped out then became an uber-supportive Mama Bear. Soon Sonny and Will found their way together in spite of the concerns of Sonny's mom, Adrienne over Will, and Will's father Lucas having reservations about Sonny's worldliness.

Hey, that's just how a straight couple would play out, at least on most soaps.

We know Will's backstory. Sonny's "European boarding school" days are yet to be explored but he seems to be a good guy. But - both of these characters come with baggage like few other LGBTQ characters. Yes, Olivia tried to have her daughter murdered and Luke's parents adopted his lover, Noah.

Still, the Kiriakis family is a crime family. Victor is a softy now, but he's blackmailed half the women half his age into engagements or marriage and then gets huffy when one of them tried to murder him by throwing a radio into his bathtub. Sonny's mom Adrienne comes from a wretchedly dysfunctional family background and she has a lot of trust issues. Both of her brothers have returned from the dead numerous times (one "dead" now and one somewhere in Africa.)

Will? Well his mother is the show's lead vixen/heroine who has been a fixture for 20 years - from 16 to 36. From lying about his paternity to drawing him into scheme after scheme, its reasonable to worry about the gene pool except its a soap and that's why we love her. His Dad is a recovering alcoholic who was also lied to about his paternity and reunited with his biological family giving Will instant "core family" power as both a Horton and a Brady.

Two young men with baggage, skeptical if loving parents and unexplored gaps in their storyline makes for a love story for the ages. I believe their "portmanteau" is WilSon which is actually pretty cute. I'd love if Days next supercouple was gay and they were still facing challenges and reuniting ten years from now.

The current challenge? Will had a one night stand with his former girlfriend, Gabi, who is now pregnant. It happened when they were single so it wasn't cheating, but neither disclosed to their current lovers. Gabi's bf Nick is homophobic because of "his church" which doesn't stop him from having sex with Gabi out of wedlock, but I'm sure that's entirely different. So this is supposed to be a new twist on an old story.

Fans are up in arms. Today, Gabi and Will engaged in a drawn out scene about abortion but we ALL know that's not a real option on a Catholic soap. Considering they are both practically kids with no visible means of support and little stability - it should be. It should be explored. They should both make sure Nick and Sonny are tested because of their unprotected sex. There's a lot of meat there that would be effective social commentary because it would set up a great moral discussion on two weighty topics.

But they won't. My guess is Sonny will be in the dark, Nick will pretend to be the father and it will all blow up in their faces when Gabi goes into "premature" labor with the baby being delivered by her enemy,Chad DiMera who also happens to be Sonny's business partner.

Sigh. Did I mention that Gabi's brother is the ex-husband of Will's mother? So if they reunite, that will make the baby his own step-uncle. Seriously, Do the calculations.

My point is that this is soapy. Its pushed two gay characters into a typical if somewhat predictable storyline. And that's what soaps do to heterosexual characters. And there's a chance Will and Sonny might raise the baby which would be great I think. Sonny is the most stable of the foursome and certainly has the least amount of crazy. (Yes, I went there.)

As for the other three soaps, world on the net is that The Young and the Restless will out one of the core family young persons - I hope its Noah Newman, but that's just a guess. They already have a minor character, Rafe, who is gay but unattached and most often unseen. Bold and the Beautiful has a lesbian couple who are also completely underdeveloped but have been well received. General Hospital, well they had a legacy character come out - Lucas Jones. Now he's off somewhere doing something outside of Port Charles. I'm not sure there's room for him on the canvas, but there's lovely potential for him to shake up some core characters.

These characters really *matter* to people and they continue to open hearts & minds to the real LGBTQ "characters" in the world. The story becomes their reality when their grandson comes out or their niece begins to transition. I'm grateful. I do have a bone to pick with Days, but I'll save the for another post.

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I was aghast when I read comment after comment from FRC's Tony Perkins about the "hate group" designation in the aftermath of a horrible shooting at his offices. While 25+ LGBTQ organizations took immediate strong action to condemn the violence, Perkins took advantage of the moment to play politics - claiming that the hate group designation was grounded in political differences about marriage equality. He then later tied the shootings to President Obama.

Hogwash. Perkins' missed the whole point.

Sadly, rather than simply tend to his flock who were undoubtedly traumatized by the ordeal, he went on the offense. Rather than simply laud the valiant actions of the wounded unarmed staffer, Leo Johnson, who, after being shot, participated in subduing the shooter, he took shots of his own.

Larger version of the cartoon and more after the break.

When I had the opportunity to chat with Rob Rogers, PG editorial cartoonist, about social justice issues around his trip to the political conventions this fall, I mentioned the FRC spin. I was quite pleased with his take on the situation.

The recent shooting at the Family Research Council prompted FRC President Tony Perkins to lash out at the Southern Poverty Law Center. Perkins claims that when the SPLC listed the FRC as a "hate group" it gave the gunman "a license to shoot an unarmed man." He told the SPLC to stop the "reckless rhetoric." I condemn the shooting and the shooter for this violent act. I also condemn the FRC for their own "reckless rhetoric."

Lesson? Take the time to talk with local journalists and other content creators. Did I sway Rob's perspective? I doubt it. He's an ally, but I'm glad I took the time to have the dialogue and encourage him to draw this gem.

Turns out, it was money. She told Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's music editor:

She repeated that she played this fest, not ones in LA or New York, because Pittsburgh "showed me the money." It's hard to say she didn't deliver.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Except there sort of is.

You can visit my blog to read about the myriad of reasons I believe paying a giant amount of cash (more than LA or NY could/would spend) for a concert is not a good investment. In other words, Pittsburgh may be "priding" beyond our means given the state of the state budget and looming cuts for LGBT organizations so essential to the welfare of our most vulnerable residents.

As you can imagine, this does not make me popular with a lot of folks in Pittsburgh. I have nothing against a nice Pride event, but it seems a little like having tea in a room and pretending not to notice the faded draperies, worn furniture and stale cookies.

As for Etheridge - well, she's a rock star, not a LGBT advocate. My partner saw her perform as part of an ensemble concert back in the 1990s and was stunned at how much of a diva she was. When she played our big concert venue a few times in the 2k years, her shows did not do well. I can see her preferring a limited venue and that's fine. It is all fine - I rather admire her frankness about being in it for the money rather than pretending its about loving her fan base and honoring our high holy days and giving back to the millions of Americans who made it possible for her to be a successful openly lesbian rock star.

Right?

As beloved as Ellen is, it took awhile for her to move from entertainer to advocate. Now she can be counted upon to make those phone calls on her show and share her thoughts on issues. Even her Mom is an advocate with PFLAG. Still, Ellen gets "shown the money" when she signs on with JC Penney and other major corporations. And we flock to defend her from the "million moms." But with Ellen, it feels like taking the money from JC Penney is a form of advocacy.

Perhaps I'm biased because Ellen doesn't have four children with two different women, both of whom she left. It seems like that matters.

Do celebrities owe us anything? I read a tweet the other day from a gay black man who said something to the effect of "Beyonce needs to support marriage equality. Without her gay fan base, she'd be Kelly Rowland."

There is that.

I was out of town during the concert and Pridefest itself. By all accounts, it was very successful and Etheridge did a fine job integrating some "gay classics" into her set. I'm glad that the show went on well.

I'm also curious if people will speak with her about the "show me the money" comments and convince her to appear at a larger Pridefest in the future. And I wonder how on earth Pride is going to top themselves.

Do you think the community should know how much Etheridge was paid to perform and how much she actually kept (some portion of the proceeds went to the Harvey Milk Foundation)?

The response has been quiet but reflects interest in building a network. So we've taken the first step by creating a Google Group (with a very long name) Western PA LGBTQA Social Media Advocates Discussion Group

Organizing is tough. I think this is a critical resource for our community, but I admit that my ability to work on it is limited. The eternal vicious circle that consumes so much of our efforts - finding balance.

My tweets aren't having that same impact, but when I go silent for awhile (I used Buffer App to schedule) I hear from people concerned about my whereabouts and telling me I'm their source for LGBTQ information. I've tried to create lists and so forth to empower them to view original sources, but that doesn't seem to appeal.

So here's hoping an email list is a good start to building a sense of community among social media users (advocates!)

Still, Josephs perseveres.

"They might not have any of this: joint liability in a mortgage lease or loan, primary beneficiary under life insurance, a primary beneficiary under the will, a durable power of attorney - I mean, most couples don't have any of that," said Josephs. "You have to show documents. You have to prove commitment."

So, why now? Wednesday also marked the introduction of another woman-hating piece of legislation from the architect of all that is oppressive in PA, State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe. This particular piece of ugly would forbid the Department of Health from funding Planned Parenthood. For anything. Nothing. No screenings. No services. Nothing.

My perception is that Josephs is fighting back, capitalizing on the momentum from President Obama's statement of support for marriage equality. Her legislation is not about redefining any relationship - simply adjusting the tax code to accurately reflect the emotional and financial commitments of couples, both LGBTQ and straight.

As a woman who happens to be a lesbian living in Pennsylvania, I appreciate Josephs calling out the state on a form of discrimination that can be resolved. I understand that only 23 states impose this form of taxation. I did not actually know about this legislation when I identified ten active bills that are LGBTQ-positive.

To stay in touch with feisty ally Josephs, follow her on Twitter @BabetteJosephs