Don Sherfick

A gay senior looks at the hair whorl controversy

Filed By Don Sherfick | June 22, 2007 8:10 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Media
Tags: bald

Last Tuesday fellow contributor Alex Blaze was critical of a study of what may well prove to rival Al Gore in terms of exposing another Inconvenient Truth: If you're gay or lesbian your hair is likely to go around the top of your head counterclockwise. If you're straight, it's literally the other way around.

The concept has me in a bit of a panic mode, because for a couple of decades now when I look into my morning mirror I see nothing but smooth shiny skin from above my eyebrows to over the horizon. Anything indicating clockwise, counterclockwise, or otherwise has long sank into the gray matter below. For many years my mother kept a daily diary of my growing up, and I've searched it in vain for any clue as to the direction my one-time locks curved. I've looked in albums for pictures taken from above and behind.....nothing there. So far as I know nobody has been stalking me with a camera so that's a dead end, too. I guess I'll just have to go through the rest of my life never really knowing the true nature of my whorl. Does that make me an asexual agnostic? Is the absence of evidence of a whorl evidence of its absence?

Alex pooh-poos the notion that there could be any correlation between hair whorl direction and sexual orientation. Since he's been trained in biology, I'll defer to his expertise, but secretly I'm not all that certain. I'm not a meteorologist (although I did stay at a Holiday Inn watching the Weather Channel last night) but I do recall something about winds moving clockwise around an area of high pressure but the other way around a depression area. At least in the northern hemisphere. Down under it's just the reverse. Has anybody studied depressed gay men from Australia deplaning in Los Angeles? If not, I'll bet the government has some grant money lying around somewhere. Then we'd know for sure.

Maybe Bilerico could take a survey on readership as to the distribution of hair whorl direction. If so, I hope he doesn't forget to include a choice for the "have nots" like me.

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I have to say, I was shocked to find out I was secretly straight. My cowlicks go in the wrong direction. :(

That's it. Everyone out. I'm shutting this place down and turning it into a site about sports, cars and technology. Oh, and boobies. Every straight guy loves boobies it seems. I'm gonna have to work on that. *giggles*

They talked about that article on The View today (is that the only show that Bilerico editors watch? lol) and Babs mistakenly said that 50% of gays were left-handed (it's actually that, according to one study, we're 50% more likely to be left-handed) and mentioned the hair whorl thing without, you know, saying that a) the study was based on 50 men at LB Pride that the researcher said were hard to tell which way they went and b)it only found a 15% difference in the occurrence of each way to whorl, with the vast majority of either group having a clockwise whorl.

See what I and J. Goodrich mean when we say that studies, books, etc., that show that men and women and gays and straights are "programmed" or hard-wired a certain way pick up media attention more than they deserve? I'm sure I could do a survey of 50 gay men in Westfield, IN, get some sort of result that's way out of line with whatever the national average is on that question, and then say that gay men are more likely to believe whatever. Of course I would have to find 50 gay men in Westfield, Indiana, and that might be harder than it seems.

And Don, no one thinks that you're asexual because you don't have a hair whorl ;)