Michael Crawford

AIDS: Where is Our Rage?

Filed By Michael Crawford | December 02, 2007 8:52 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality, The Movement
Tags: AIDS activism, Charles King, gay men, gay politics, HIV/AIDS, World AIDS Day

The speech below was given yesterday, World AIDS Day, by Charles King, executive director of Housing Works. King is one of the most important AIDS activists today and continues the work that unfortunately so many LGBT activists have abandoned.

My initial thought was to write something about HIV/AIDS and the current pale imitation of activism that seems the norm today even as more and more LGBT people come out of the closet and more gay men become infected. King says everything I could say and many things that I had not thought about in a far more eloquent way than I ever could. He asks the salient question "Why has so much of the gay community walked away from the battle against AIDS?

This speech is long, but definitely worth the read. It's a piece not in the mold of eating your spinach, but of something that will help to focus and clarify who we are and what we are about. Read it after the jump.

December 1, 2007

The Many Faces of AIDS: A Message to My Brothers and Sisters in the Gay Community
Speech delivered by Charles King
World AIDS Day, San Francisco, California

Thank you for inviting me to join you today in commemorating World AIDS Day at the National AIDS Memorial here in this beautiful park.

You know, at least from superficial reports, today ought to be a day of celebration. Just two weeks ago, UNAIDS announced a recalculation of the global AIDS pandemic, reducing the number of people living with AIDS world-wide from 39.5 million to 33.2 million persons, and the number of annual deaths from 3 million persons to only 2.5 million.

Not only that, but there is also considerable news on the treatment front. The latest generation of treatments is so effective that I heard Martin Delaney of Project Inform just last month declare that even people who months ago had what were considered salvage options, assuming they have access to treatment of care and are reasonably adherent, can now expect to die of maladies related to old age, and not conditions associated with the virus.

Sadly, it takes only a slightly more penetrating look to see why this is emphatically not a day for celebration! The UNAIDS announcement was largely due to statistical adjustments, and with a few exceptions, had little to nothing to do we any meaningful success in our efforts to end the disease. And even while UNAIDS was lowering its figures, the CDC is reportedly struggling with how to make the politically sensitive announcement that it has been under-forecasting the rate of HIV infection in the United States for the last several years by nearly 50%. At 2.5 million annual deaths, AIDS is still the world’s leading killer, and new infections around the globe still continue to soar among young women, girls, injection drug users, and, above all, young men who have sex with other men.

As for Martin Delany’s prognostications, his qualifier is critical. For the truth is that less than 50% of the people living with HIV here in the United States have access to primary care, much less the latest greatest drugs couple with sophisticated lab tests that are read by HIV-specialty care providers. And around the globe, less than one third of people who are in need, as defined by an appallingly low t-cell count of less than 200, have access to any treatment, much less access to the latest and greatest.

The sad and damning truth, my friends, is that while many of us merrily pop our pills every morning and go on with our lives as if the crisis had ended, we are still loosing that battle against the AIDS epidemic in the United States and the pandemic around the globe.

Now this is the point in my speech where I usually rail against the powers that be. I point out that ending this pandemic is already possible even without a vaccine or a cure, that it’s not rocket science, just common sense, and then go into my rant about how it is not a lack of resources, but a lack of political will. All of the above is, in fact, quite true. But it’s just not for today’s speech.

Instead, standing here as I am in San Francisco, pulsing with the heartbeat of Gay America, I’m moved to ask why so much of the gay community, my community, has given up on the fight against AIDS. I really don’t mean to give offense. And while I have been accused at times of being provocative, it’s a sincere question: Why has so much of the gay community walked away from the battle against AIDS?

Some of you here today are perhaps too young to remember the way it was in the 80’s. First there was the quiet dread, which grew to a sense of terror as friend after friend began to get sick, quickly loose weight, and then die. There was that awful sense of helplessness, confusion and then rage as we died and the world did nothing. And then we began to organize and to fight. I remember attending my first meeting of ACT-UP New York in the summer of 1987. Standing in the back of a packed room at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center, I found myself heaving dry sobs, hoping no one could see my visceral reaction.

At last there was something I could do. I could fight back. And even if we didn’t win, I wouldn’t be going down alone. At the time, I was still HIV negative. But, like many others in my circumstance, AIDS had already taken over my life, dragging me out of the closet and, in doing so, effectively destroying my career as a young Baptist minister. So it didn’t matter that the virus had not yet tainted my blood. As a gay man, I was living with AIDS, and I was willing to do what ever it took to bring the plague to an end.

The next three years were a blur of adrenaline: Fighting back at the Republican Convention in New Orleans, handcuffed to a bureaucrat’s desk in New York City, scaling the walls of the CDC, chaining ourselves to the FDA, planting tombstones at the NIH and then throwing colorful flares when the police on horseback began to charge our line.

Throwing our bodies on the line, we were a veritable band of brothers, fatalistic, cynical, but willing to fight to the end. The AZT chant said it all: “One drug, a billion dollars, big deal!” But then things really did begin to change. We had forced the government, and scientists and the health care industry to respond. And so we starting daring to hope.

I hope none of you think I am romanticizing those horrible days. And I don’t want anyone to think I am discounting the great number of lesbians and somewhat smaller collection of straight allies in our midst. But for gay men, it was inevitably a different experience. To be sure there was a lot of love, and even a fair amount of sex. But all too often the guy who had led the charge, or who had told the funniest stories sitting up overnight in jail cell, showed up at the next week’s meeting with those horrible purple lesions that inevitably spelled death…and we tried not to pull away even as we looked furtively at our own bodies to make sure we had not yet been tagged by the reaper.

In the 90’s the time for marching seemed to have at least faded, if not going completely away. The government spigots had begun to open, as had private pockets, to an unparalleled degree. We had a new challenge. Many of us who had manned the barricades felt called to undertake the challenge of building organizations to serve our own, and then to serve others who had been left out. Some of us built housing or expanded services, while others went to work in health care and in research, or even the bureaucracy of government, all still seeing our every day’s work as a critical part of the same struggle. Even as we were building new careers, we told ourselves we were still a part of bringing AIDS to an end.

Maybe it occurred earlier, but I still see Andrew Sullivan’s article, “When Plagues End”, published in the New York Times Sunday Magazine on November 10, 1996, as the turning point. Perhaps he was only verbalizing the sentiment felt silently felt by many others when he declared, “For me the AIDS crisis is over.” But those words, whether spoken by Sullivan or only heard in our own minds, gave permission for thousands of gay men and our lesbian comrades, even those of us living with the virus, to abandon the battlefield, secure in the knowledge that, for us, at least, the crisis was over.

There is no denying that a material change had taken place. I remember in 1989, going with Keith Cylar, my now deceased partner to get his test result after a bout of thrush. Though he lived until 2004, the threat of death never lifted. When I, on the other-hand, sero-converted shortly after the turn of the century, it was already clear that I would have a full range of options that would allow me to manage the virus well into my senior years. But I have to admit that I am also in an extremely privileged position. Not only do I have great health insurance and personally know some of the best AIDS specialists in the world, but even if I lose my job, I live in a state that guarantees that I will always have access to health care, including even the most expensive AIDS medications.

It wasn’t just individuals who moved on once HAART therapy became available. Rather, it seems that sometime in the late 90’s, the entire organized gay and lesbian community voted by a clear majority that it was time to move on from AIDS to more pressing issues.

This consensus was driven home to me just a couple of years ago, when I was invited to keynote the annual banquet of Equality Alabama, and specifically to speak on the Campaign to End AIDS. A few weeks before the event, I received an e-mail indicating that the schedule had been revised. Evan Wolfson, of Marriage Equality had been invited to keynote in my stead. I called the chair of the planning committee to inquire and was told, “Most of our membership just felt that marriage is a more pressing issue for us right now.”

As consolation, I was given a workshop that afternoon….scheduled for the same time as Evan’s workshop on the gay marriage campaign. Now, I count Evan as a friend, and I certainly don’t want to sound like sour grapes, but the marriage workshop was packed out, standing room only, with more than two hundred people in the room. I had an attendance of five, two of whom were already die-hard C2EA activists.
Would it surprise you if I told you that out of several hundred people in attendance at the banquet that night, only a tiny handful were people of color? Would it surprise you to know that the largest constituency of people living with HIV in Alabama is men who have sex with men? And would it surprise you to know that more than 70% of people living with HIV in Alabama are African American?

I think you and I know why the gay community moved on once HAART became available. Let’s face it, Andrew Sullivan was right. For the vast majority of white gay men of even moderate income in the United States, AIDS ended as a crisis once the drugs came on line. We no longer had to watch our friends die or live ourselves in fear of the plague. In fact, whether because we headed prevention advice, or because we were just lucky, the statistics suggest that more than 75% of us are HIV negative. And because we often travel in packs that look like ourselves, AIDS for many of us is no longer even personal.

Of course the story is completely different if you are a Black gay or bi-sexual man. In that case, they odds are closer to one in two that you are infected. And you are far more likely than a white man to learn of your infection after you have had an AIDS-defining event, meaning the available treatments are going to be far less successful. While less dramatic, the difference is also obvious if you are a Latino gay man in the United States today.

I know that New York, San Francisco and L.A. have all at one time or another claimed to be the epicenter of the AIDS epidemic in the United States. But a recent study underscores what many of us have known for a while now. The true epicenter of the epidemic today is Washington, D.C. In our Nation’s capital today, now more than one in every 20 people is living with HIV. And the more damning statistic: One out of every 7 Black men living in Washington, D.C. is infected with HIV….and, of course, the lion’s share of these men are men who are having sex with other men, whether we claim them as members of our community or not.

The reality is that AIDS is no longer so much a gay disease in the United States as it is a disease of race and poverty. And that brings to light a dirty secret about the organized and politically engaged gay community. We are overwhelmingly white and reasonably well-off, and our movement is almost exclusively about rights for ourselves and people like us.

The recent debate over the exclusion of persons of transgendered experience from Employment Non-Discrimination Act sadly makes my point. What does it say about us that Barney Frank, with the full support, it might add, of Nancy Pelosi, could so easily drop transgendered people from the ENDA bill that just passed the US House of Representatives? Well, if nothing else, it clearly says that no matter how much trans folk have fought side by side in the trenches with gay men and lesbians, we still don’t fully claim them as our own. Trans people are “other”, and as other, are expendable.

It was somewhat gratifying to see the number of LGBT groups who came out in opposition to this horrible betrayal. But, as it turns out, the largest of our organizations, the one to which we contribute as a community by far the largest dollars, , the Human Rights Campaign Fund, had been secretly pressing for this action all awhile, having only recently been shamed into trans inclusion in the first place.

By the way, speaking of Nancy Pelosi, can anyone hear explain to me how we could let her add $28 million to the Federal government’s existing annual $176 million in funding for abstinence only education without us raising a howl of protest? Pelosi’s justification was that $28 million was a small price to pay for getting other progressive funding passed. But that’s a crock, and a dangerous one at that. Not only does abstinence until marriage not work, but it is homophobic to its core, perpetuating among the children it claims to serve the myth that sexually transgressive people are morally degenerate. Even more, federal grants for abstinence-only-education fund the infrastructure of a right-wing movement dedicated to our destruction. But a Democratic Speaker, representing one of the most progressive districts in Congress, supports funding these organizations to the tune of over $200 million a year.

In a letter published in the current issue of The Advocate about the debate over trans inclusion in ENDA, a reader wrote, “As a gay man, I am tired of being told what I should think and what I should feel just because I am attracted to other men. At a gay synagogue in New York City recently, a straight guest speaker actually said, ‘Because you are all gay, I know you will be able to empathize with the plight of Mexican immigrants and their fight for equality.’ This kind of knee-jerk stupidity has got to stop, and assuming that because I am gay, I not only relate to but actually understand and care about transgender issues is no different.”

I don’t believe it is just a coincidence that the larger gay and lesbian community walked of the battlefield when AIDS clearly became a Black disease. It was no longer us who was perceived to be dying. It was “other”, and other is always dispensable. Our use of the term “men who have sex with men” and the “down low” serve only to increase the distance. “They” don’t claim us, so we don’t have to claim them. But imagine how different the world would be if people like Harvey Milk hadn’t stood up for people like me when I was a young person growing up in south Texas, still lacking the courage to call myself gay.

It’s not just Black gay and bisexual men and trans people that we walk away from when we walk away from AIDS. We’ve also walked away from many gay white men too marginalized to make it into the life boat, and we have walked away from women and girls, mainly Black women and girls, and folk generally marginalized by the larger society in which we live. The truth is, that when our community turns its back on AIDS, we turn our back on the very idea of civil rights and social and economic justice being our cause.

I need to be clear that I am not picking on Equality Alabama, and I appreciate well that at the time of that conference to which I referred, they were fighting a loosing battle against a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The deprioritization of AIDS has taken place among gay organizations all over this country over the last decade. I also want to be clear that I want the right to marriage as much as the next person….and I want all of the other rights that have been denied persons of LGBT experience for so long. But if what we are truly engaged in is a struggle for social and economic justice, it can’t just be about my rights.

We in the organized LGBT community are often incredulous that so many African Americans can distinguish their historical struggle for civil rights from our own. Yet, we fail to see the devastation being wrought among African American men who have sex with men in DC, or Brooklyn or Jackson, Mississippi, for that matter, as intrinsic to us, much less to see the connection between our struggle and that of people living with HIV and AIDS around the globe.

The reality of AIDS is that it is caused by a virus; but that virus would not have created the pandemic that now exists if it were not fueled by homophobia, racism, and sexism. AIDS is a disease that persists as a consequence of economic and social marginalization and discrimination. Whether it was gay men and then Haitians in the 80’s, or sex workers and people addicted to injection drugs today, AIDS has been able to wreck its havoc because it has in the main taken the lives of people deemed expendable. And that is why AIDS continues to be the preeminent civil rights issue of our day, whether we want to own it or not.

Even before I had the courage to publicly declare my sexual orientation, I knew to be grateful that God had made me gay. Being gay, I knew early on, went way beyond just being sexually attracted to men. The otherness of my sexual orientation propelled me out of the small-minded fundamentalist community into which I had been born. Being gay forced me to make my own way, to think for myself instead of accepting the given truths with which I had been raised.

Being sexually transgressive made transgendered people my brothers and sisters even without my understanding all of the complexities of gender identity. Being gay required that I understand that sexism persists as the root cause of homophobia… And it didn’t take being sero-postive for me to realize some 24 years ago that the first person I knew personally to die from the virus, an African American female sex-worker in New Haven, Connecticut, died for me.

Whether we in the gay community like it our not, AIDS is still our disease. It is ours because the many faces of AIDS, whether gay or straight, male or female, living in Haiti or South Africa, Puerto Rico or Washington, D.C., represent our struggle to survive and live our lives whole.

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Boston Butch | December 2, 2007 9:37 AM


This is one of those pieces you read and think "I wish I had written this." Thank you so much for posting it. Not only does he place everything in an historical context, he names the silence around AIDS in the gay community for what it is (about race and poverty) and then explains why social justice means caring for someone more than oneself.

As a Jew, I found it sadly ironic that the man who wrote to the Advocate about his experience at a GLBT synagogue where he found himself "tired of being told what to think" didn't realize that it was Hillel, also a Jew, who said, "If I am not for myself, who will be [for me]? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

bill perdue | December 2, 2007 6:25 PM

For me AIDS has always been very personal. I hate it. My first reaction reading the initial reports from the NYC Gay Men’s Heath Crisis in a 1982 issue of the Advocate was that it couldn’t be true. It sounded like bad science fiction. LA was luckier than some cities; those first reports from NY and SF about the ‘gay plague’ weren’t duplicated in LA for several months. But all too soon we began hearing the same litany of nosediving T-cell counts, unspeakable symptoms and sudden death.

Then it got very personal. My good friend and landlord, a gay Air Force vet, a SAC bird colonel no less, sickened and died in the summer of 86. Then my ex – who I split from in 83 because he couldn’t stop cruising – died. He’d been in a motorcycle accident and his leg was crushed. Infected with HIV and sickened by AZT and other toxic medicines he was eaten alive by bacteria. Then his BF came to me with the “News” and a few months later we buried him.

I was very active in California politics at the time, opposing bay bashing initiatives to fire gay teaches, etc. All the organizations we’d painstakingly built, the internal education we’d experienced and our political gains were almost wiped out by the plague.

Local GLBT papers in the Bay Area, LA and San Diego became endless obituary columns. West Hollywood never died out but literally hundreds of people I’d known simply disappeared.

Our movement didn’t fully recover until just before the turn of the century, and that was because we had no choice. Our ‘friends’ in the two parties slammed us with DADT, DOMA and 36 state DOMAS. Now we’re back on track politically. The ENDA betrayal was a wake up call and the unity of militancy of the 366 organizations was an impressive, even amazing response to Frank’s treachery.

If the political picture improved the medical one has just gotten worse. Here are the facts: AIDS and HIV cause incapacitating immune system damage. The late stages make individuals susceptible to opportunistic infections and tumors. Although treatments for AIDS and HIV exist to slow the onset of endstage AIDS there is no cure. HIV is pandemic, with a (revised) estimate of 33.2 million infections globally. The World Health Organization estimates that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people. The death toll in 2005 AIDS was as high as 3.3 million, of which an estimated 570,000 were children.

Anti-retroviral therapy is extending life for those who can afford them, but as many as two thirds of those infected globally have no access to them. The infection rate in southern AFRICA is 15%, antivirals are not available and coepidemic diseases like TB and malaria are widespread. Add to that desertification and the legacy of poverty from colonial times and the situation in parts of Africa is a rolling disaster. In the EU and the states of the former USSR rates are increasing especially in Russia, Ukraine, Estonia, Portugal and the UK. In the US the CDC recently admitted that it’s been under forecasting the increase in infections in the US by 50%. Without socialized medicine, many infected people in the US have no access to insurance or free healthcare, especially for those extremely expensive antiviral cocktails. The infection rate in ASIA is growing, especially in Southeast Asia and China.

We can handle most diseases. TB, Yersinia pestis, the Black Death, gastroenteritis caused by rotaviruses and baccili, typhus and many other diseases can easily be checked or stopped by sanitary measures including clean housing, food and water. Smallpox, poliomyelitis and measles can be checked by isolation and vaccination.

HIV is very different. It can ONLY be controlled by a combination of massive education and prophylactics. In many countries variations of the Reagan-papal-evangelist policy of ’let em die, god’ll sort em out’ remains in place.

In the US the abstinence only and abstinence plus policies of Republicans and Democrats ignores the power of sexuality and affectional urges and have killed millions. Corrupt Stalinists in China not only allowed the virus to spread unchecked they resisted educational efforts aimed at gays for years. Mozambique’s cardinal-archbishop Chimoio had a letter read in all the roman catholic cult's church’s there in which he claimed that condoms and antivirals have been infected with HIV by Europeans in order to kill Africans. In the US the CDC recently admitted that it’s been under forecasting the increase in infections in the US by about 50%.

This disease is an obstinate, brutal killer. Because it’s evolution is intimately linked to changes in our immune systems, it’s demonstrated a dangerous ability to mutate, resisting efforts to create vaccines and curative therapies, Until it’s stopped by an all out effort – a medical Manhattan Project – that invests billions in basic research, pharmaceuticals and vaccines, Massive education and condoms are our first line of defense.

One of the first items on the agenda of the resurgent LGBT left should a demand for a Manhattan Project for aids. Stop killing Iraqis in a futile colonization effort. Use the money to stop AIDS.

I'm so glad you posted this. I saw it too and came over to post it but you'd beaten me to it. This should be required reading for every goddamned member of the LGBT community. Every. Single. One.

Michael Crawford Michael Crawford | December 3, 2007 11:13 AM


I agree that every member of the LGBT community should read King's speech and it should begin with the leaders of every national, state and local LGBT organization in the country.