Serena Freewomyn

Scientists Find Straight Gene

Filed By Serena Freewomyn | April 01, 2008 4:49 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
Tags: gay gene

For years, scientists have been trying to locate "the gay gene." Not to be outdone, researchers at the Kinsey Institute have been looking for "the straight gene."

"Dr. Kinsey's early studies on sexuality revealed that most people are not exclusively heterosexual or homosexual," said Joe Blow, a head sexologist conducting the study. "Most people lie somewhere in between. So what we wanted to know is what causes this small minority to be heterosexual."

"We're excited about the possibilities of finding a cure for heterosexuality," Sally Wood, another one of the researchers. "So many people suffer needlessly from heterosexuality and dull sex lives. Isolating the straight gene will put a stop to that."

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Thank god! These poor souls will finaly have hope for a cure. I say we organize a 5k walk to help raise funds for this research...

Wow - that's such a great idea. Because it's never been done before!

Cute. Real cute. It's a 7. I give the 5K walk idea a 7, too, but since it's not an official posting, it doesn't really count in the final standings.

Does this mean there will finally be a test so pregnant women can know ahead of time that their child will be a breeder?