Guest Blogger

John McCain Should Talk to the Real Expert on My Family - Me

Filed By Guest Blogger | July 22, 2008 11:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Politics
Tags: election 2008, gay adoption, gay parenting, gay parents, John McCain, lesbian parents, two moms

Editor's Note: Gust blogger Alan O'Brien-Myers is a rising senior at Holyoke High School in Holyoke, MA, where he lives with his two moms and younger brother.

IMG_0915.jpgAs someone who was adopted by two lesbian moms, I was certainly disappointed to find out that John McCain, a candidate for President of the United States, doesn't "believe in gay adoption."

What's not to believe in? Many gays and lesbians adopt children and create wonderful, loving families. My moms adopted me out of foster care when I was eleven years old. I'm seventeen now. I love my family. My moms provide for me in all the ways that other parents provide for their children. We have our problems just like everybody else, but in the end we take care of each other. We believe in each other.

What we don't believe in is John McCain and any other politician who is out of touch with the reality of American families. Not all families are married moms and dads with their biological children. Many children are raised by single parents, unmarried parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and more. What makes these families real is the love and care they have for each other, their commitment to seeing each other through good times and bad.

John McCain says he supports a quicker route to adoption so kids who need homes can get them faster, but he clearly has a bias against my kind of family and all the ones I listed above. If John McCain had his way, my family would not exist. I'm not giving up my family just because John McCain is confused about what really makes a family.

If John McCain really cared about families, he would trust the professionals who have agreed that sexual orientation doesn't affect someone's ability to be a good parent. He would listen to my voice and the voice of many other kids being raised by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents. It's not that our families are better, just that we're basically the same, except in most places the laws don't protect our families very well. If John McCain really cared about families like mine, he would let LGBT people marry the person they love so that all families can be treated equally to others.

My two moms, my little brother and me, we're doing just fine. We could do a little better if we had the support of people like John McCain, who as President or even as a senator has so much power over how other people live their lives. Without his support, we'll keep doing what we've always done-love each other, care for each other, argue like all families, make up like all families, and continue to work for a country that really respects all of its people and families.

We'd rather have our next president support us. Wouldn't you?

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Oh my God. This is probably one of the most beautiful pieces posted here in a very long time. It made me cry. When he turns 18, Bil should make him a contributor. He truly earned it with his one posting. Thank you Alan for your beautiful words.

John R. Selig | July 22, 2008 1:25 PM

The biggest weapon that that the LGBT community has is to share our stories with mainstream America. It is harder to hate somebody you know and love personally (or get to know through their writing and media appearances) than a stereotype. Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to LGBT parents and their children.

LGBT rights have come a long way since I first came out in 1990. However, the two areas that scare heterosexuals the most involve same-sex marriage and gays being parents. The openness of brave individuals in sharing their stories are breaking down the barriers on these issues as well. In the realm of same-sex marriage Canada and Massachusetts miraculously haven't imploded into the molten core of our planet's center. Likewise, public opinion on same-sex marriage in California is moving those supporting us into the majority.

There are millions and millions of kids being raised by LGBT parents (some in two-parent families and other, like my son was, by a single parent). As brave kids like Alan O'Brien-Myers share their stories, main stream America puts a face on the issue and are able to overcome their fears. Alan, you are a real hero. thanks for sharing your compelling story.

The work being done by the Family Equality Council is critical. They work to ensure equality for LGBT families by building community, changing hearts and minds, and advancing social justice for all families. I encourage folks to visit their website at

Thanks again Alan. Your parents must be extremely proud of you. I know I am!

Tell your mothers that they have done a beautiful job. So much work has been done with families concerning when the kids are queer and so much needs to be done now for when the parents are. My kids are also basically doing well, all five of them. They have a queer father and straight mother. So many different kinds of families and you have spoken so well for some of us.

Beautifully-expressed. McCain is probably limited by seeing gay families as "an issue" not as people and as a slice of all the diverse families across America. As you pointed out, there's a lot more than just two-straight-parents.

One might also point out that it's not like McCain has such a great track record for "traditional" marriage anyway.

OMG, Alan! How cute are you? You have got to be the sweetest guest blogger we've ever had on the site! Your moms must be pretty awesome. Thanks for sharing your story with us and good luck with the rest of high school! You obviously have a very bright future ahead of you.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 22, 2008 10:06 PM

Alan, I was very moved by your sense of righteous indignation. Keep a strong personal ethos and you are going to be one very successful human being. I am glad that you, at least, reside in a state where there are some rights for your parents unlike so many places.

Adults are pretty stupid Alan, and we will need smart young people like you to remind those who hate that it is wrong. Thank you Alan, you have made my day.

You wrote a great guest post, Alan. Thanks for stopping by and becoming part of the conversation. You're more than welcome to guest post again. You've been a hit!