Father Tony

I Need Your Vote Today. You Can Make a Difference!

Filed By Father Tony | October 03, 2008 1:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Living

As some of you may know, we are downsizing. I've spent the last three days doing the excruciating work of sorting through stuff and deciding what to keep and what to pitch. cakecarriers.jpgYesterday, I opened a box marked "kitchen stuff" that had not once been opened after the last three residential moves. In it, were these two Tupperware cake carriers. One is for larger cakes and one is for smaller cakes.

I have not baked a cake in decades, let alone felt the requirement to transport one. Now that I am retired, I think I might bake a cake someday soon, and I might have to bring it somewhere.

The many pros and cons of this moment have paralyzed me:

  1. I have managed to live without them for decades.
  2. Do not get rid of something just when you might need it anew. Isn't that why it was kept?
  3. They are bulky.
  4. Unlike lasagna pans, you don't find disposable cake carriers in the supermarket aisles.
  5. Cake is bad for me and for those to whom I might bring it.
  6. I love cakes. I love baking them. I love sharing them.
  7. The unprotected portage of a cake in my Smartcar could be disastrous for the little car and for the few articles of clothing that I have not donated.
  8. The little one does fit inside the big one for better storage.
  9. They smell a little musty but a session in the dishwasher ought to fix that.

In a world full of trivial grabs for attention, here at last is an issue that could impact all of you. I need your guidance in the making of a decision that will definitely shape the activities of the rest of my life, and maybe yours in a "trickle-down-let-them eat-cake sort of way. Without the carriers, I won't bring a cake anywhere. If I can't bring it, I probably won't make it. If I don't make it, I won't buy the ingredients, hence recession and hunger.

Dear readers, I need your help with a decision that will impact my future, the lives of all of you, my friends who might someday be on the receiving end of cake or not, and the national economy itself, in a very real way.

Should I keep them or pitch them?

Please cast your vote and feel free to add your supporting argument.

(Crossposted at Perge Modo.)

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They're Tupperware, right? No question - pitch them. If you want to transport cake, do so in a nice shiny chrome carrier. Mine was a hand-me-down from my Grandmother and has a wooden handle carved by my Dad. I think you can find one in an antique shop or thrift store.

Dear Greg,
Although I'm sure I'd love an antique version, the last thing I can do right now is buy more stuff. Must. Think. Downsizing.

Fr Tony,
All the thought of cake obscured the downsizing part. I have to bend my brain in that direction also. I wish us both luck.

Fr Tony: I would suggest that you identify some linens that you intended to keep anyway, and store the linens in the cake covers. The covers will protect the linens from dust and dirt, and if you need to transport a cake, you can take the linens out temporarily. The covers won't take up that much more room than the linens would unprotected.

P.S. If you don't have any linens, then store your sex toys in the Tupperware. Surely you won't be throwing those out!

Dear A.J.,

Cake is our sex toy.

Perhaps you should get rid of the smaller one, since the larger one would accommodate cakes, er, sex toys, of multiple sizes!

For goodness sake, don't throw it away. If you must get rid of it, auction it off at your local Retirement Community. There has to be an old lady out there who needs to transport cakes to periodic potluck dinners.

And if cake is your sex toy, invest the profits in spot and stain remover. That shit's messy.

You should definitely get rid of them. You might love to make cakes, but you never do. Therefore, your threat not to ever bring me a cake is null and void; logic tells me you don't make cakes to start with - even though you love to make them.

Don't throw them away! Go to Freecycle and find the branch in your local area and offer them to someone who might want them. You can downsize using Freecycle and give away the stuff you no longer want to someone who might have a use for it. And you will be doing your part to keep stuff out of landfills. :)

You should send them to John McCain, who has "Let Them Eat Cake" as a bulwark of his platform.

He and his campaign are busy deregulating the baking industry so that they can bake inexpensive cakes (enhanced with melamine from China - build strong bones with plastic!) for the many people who are now unemployed and poor due to the disastrous policies of the Bush administration and Wall Street.