Alex Blaze

Naked women will turn America's boys gay

Filed By Alex Blaze | September 21, 2009 11:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, Politics
Tags: Michael Schwartz, playboy, Senate, tim coburn, Values Voter Summit

Michael Schwartz, Tom Coburn's chief of staff, seems to have gotten ahead of himself at the Value Voters Summit. According to him, male homosexuality can be cause by looking through a Playboy. All porn in gay porn, and we need to get that message out to kids because it might be the only thing that will stop our boys from looking at porn. They're really homophobic, kids, and if we tell them all porn leads to homosexuality, they'll be less likely to look at it. Michael Schwartz knows all this because he was told by "a very good friend" (suuuuuure), who used to be gay before transforming back to heterosexuality in the 80's, just before Schwartz was inspired to co-author a book accusing gays of using the AIDS crisis to advance their agenda. (partial transcript after the jump).

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've come across the happily batshit idea that young boys looking at straight porn will be turned gay. It turns up from time to time on the right as they try to make pornography out to be the worst thing ever. It stems from their own sexual frustration; they know they think men are kinda hot, so the only way to live on the straight and narrow is to suppress their own sexual feelings. They begin to understand that, for them, the path to coming out will begin with anything that causes them to acknowledge the fact that they have sex drives and accept that sexuality isn't something that needs to be repressed. To them, you're not "gay" if you squeeze your eyes shut and think about baseball every time a hot dude walks by.

In other words, I wouldn't be too surprised if Schwartz gets caught with another man's dick in his mouth out at a rest stop somewhere.

There's nothing wrong with being so repressed and sick and outwardly stupid. What gets me is that this guy has a fair amount of power in our political system and that there a quite a few people like him who are setting both the agenda and the conversation on these issues. In a healthy political system, these folks would be at the margins, not at the center of the debate with liberals trying to accommodate them when they want to pass any legislation that's sex- or LGBT-friendly.

After the 2004 elections, the buzzword was "moral values." This is the intellectual process that leads to those values.

Here's the transcript, from Think Progress:

One of the temptations that your sons are going to run into is pornography. Pornography is a blight. It is a disaster. It is, it is one of those silent diseases in our society that we haven't been able to overcome very well. Now, I may be getting politically incorrect here. But one -- It's been a few years, not that many, since I was closely associated with pre-adolescent boys, boys who are like 10 to 12 years of age. But it is my observation that boys at that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that's because they don't want to be that way. They don't want to fall into it. And that's a good instinct. After all, homosexuality, we know, studies have been done by the National Institute of Health to try to prove that its genetic and all those studies have proved its not genetic. Homosexuality is inflicted on people.

I had a very good friend who was in the homosexual lifestyle for a long time and then he had a religious conversion in the eighties. And he bought a old motel and turned it into a hospice for some of his former associates who were dying of AIDS. He helped, he helped almost 300 men die. This man was a real hero. But he knew that he wasn't as healed as he thought he was. He was able to resist temptation. He was able to resist sin. But he wasn't healed enough to take on the responsibilities of marriage. And he was a brilliant man in the sense that he knew himself. And he knew his limits. And he and I had good conversations about, about the malady that he suffered. And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, "all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he's going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I'm pretty sure he'll lose interest. That's the last thing he wants." You know, that's a, that's a good comment. It's a good point and it's a good thing to teach young people.

His name is Jim Johnson. He's a friend of mine. He ran an organization called Beyond Rejection Ministries. And I consider him one of the most heroic men I've ever met. But all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. And that in fact is what it does. I know couples now who are struggling with the husband's addiction to pornography. It's a terrible thing. And that's what happens. And, you know, if it doesn't turn you homosexual, it at least renders you less capable of loving your wife. And it's something you need to be healed of.

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"All porn leads to homosexuality?" I seem to recall during my Navy days that when we went out to sea for 70 day, we would put up pictures of naked women all throughout the ship, especially back in the Engine room. Yet, I never witnessed the entire crew turning gay. Amazing how some people's brains are so disconnected from their mouths.

Oh, wait. That was assuming they have brains. My bad.

wait, porn is just the tool; masturbation is what turns people gay, it's inherently homosexual. Think about all those teenage boys masturbating -- they're touching penises and conditioning themselves to like it! Apparently it doesn't matter what gender they are thinking about.

You know, technically a Playboy was the first porn I saw. Maybe he's onto something! Oh, wait. It was the first porn a lot of guys my age saw first. This means they're all secretly gay! Hot damn - my options just got wider!

I don't know... they might have a point regarding Playboy turning girls gay!

I remember sneaking my Uncle George's Playboys when I was just a little girl, cutting pictures out and making paper clothes for them. It was the 60's so they all wore practical clothing, Capri's, mock turtle necks and horned rimmed glasses. In those reclined poses it was NOT an easy feat. But I was a girl w/mad skills. It wasn't so much about "I have to get them dressed!" But back in those days undressing paper dolls was the closest to Sears catalog underwear "porn" and my paper dolls didn't wear granny panties and bullet proof bras.

Now the paper dolls dolls would wear ball-caps, A&F shirts, cargo's.... but they still have the glasses. Gawd I have always loved a girl w/glasses.

Maybe Playboy just promotes "eye wear" fetishists?