Bil Browning

Porch Kitty needs you

Filed By Bil Browning | December 02, 2009 5:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Living
Tags: feral cat, needs a name, new cat, Porch Kitty, stray cat

My Twitter followers are well aware of the Porch Kitty situation that developed here at home late this summer. To bring the rest of you up to speed, here's the background... Why? Because Porch Kitty needs your help!

Our neighborhood has a large feral cat colony nearby and a local group catches the cats, spays/neuters them, and then releases them back into the wild. One day while I was outside working on the front porch, a barely-not-a-kitten walked up and jumped onto my laptop. I set the laptop aside and played with her. Porch-Kitty-Mitch.jpgWhen I went out for a smoke later, she was still there waiting on me.

The next day passed without a sign of my new friend, but the day after brought one hungry kitty to my porch. I broke down and put some cat food in a bowl on the porch. It was around this time that I started tweeting about the cat and asking if anyone local had room for the little cutie in their home. No one did.

When we went to the National Equality March, a friend babysat our four-legged friends here at home. (We have four dogs and a cat.) He was given strict instructions to make sure he fed Porch Kitty, but she didn't come around the entire time he was here. She'd gone AWOL. In fact, after we came back home, she still didn't return for a week. When she did make an encore appearance, her face was all torn up - she'd been in a fight with some animal or another.

Of course, I felt pity for Porch Kitty, but I was determined not to get suckered in to taking in another stray animal. Two of the dogs and the cat have all showed up on our porch looking for homes already! Since her wound was healing nicely on it's own, I didn't take her to the vet. After all, she was just the Porch Kitty...

As the weeks turned into months, Porch Kitty made a new friend - Porch Kitty 2. PK2 also enjoyed the free banquet put out every morning and was soon sitting patiently on the porch waiting for his turn at the food bowl. This was getting out of hand quickly - especially when Porch Kitty 3 showed up with an empty belly. PK2 and PK3, however, are very skittish and act much more like a feral cat than Porch Kitty.

Porch Kitty, however, was determined to get inside the house. Eventually I started leaving the laptop in the house because I knew Porch Kitty would be outside waiting on me so she could jump in my lap. She tried every kitty trick possible - the I'm-on-my-back-batting-your-sweatshirt-strings, the I'm-laying-behind-your-neck, and the I-fell-asleep-in-your-arms. She'd run to the door like she was going to come inside, but the sight of the dogs standing in the doorway would always put the brakes on that idea.

On Halloween night, I scooped her up and brought her inside since she's a black cat. I left her in the bathroom for a few hours and once trick-or-treating was finished, I put her back outside. My generosity didn't help with her drive to become Not-The-Porch-Kitty. Not at all.

photo.jpgOur love-fest on the porch was full of pictures and tweets about Porch Kitty. Soon people were tweeting back and asking questions like, "What's Porch Kitty up to today?" or "Did you find a home for Porch Kitty yet?"

Last week, she showed up with a broken tail seeping blood. After a $200 vet bill, I've capitulated and she's taken up residence in my recliner (on the laptop, if possible!). She's actually become quite the little friend to everyone in the house although the big dogs still get the occasional hiss if they get too close. And, of course, Jerame (who doesn't much care for cats) has become her new bosom buddy.

Since Porch Kitty doesn't live on the porch anymore, she needs a new name. I've called her Porch Kitty for months and it doesn't really reflect her new position in life. Any suggestions for a rescued social-climbing feline with more charm and affection than should be allowed by law?

Here are the other pet names in case it helps:

  • Lucky (Boxer)
  • Reece Piece (Pit Bull)
  • Frieda (Fox Terrier)
  • Fritz (Rat Terrier)
  • Pretty Baby aka "PB" (the orange alley cat)

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I really like porch kitty. Its adorable.

What about PK?

I like PK, too.

Otherwise, pumpkin, muffy-poo,and cutie-pie come to mind - but I'll admit those are endearments rather than names.


"Zed" names are very social-climber-y, no? I see her with white gloves and a cigarette holder.

Pygmalion or Eliza signify the move from street dweller to a classy lady.
what do I win?
good luck fka porch kitty

I like the idea of Eliza. That's a good one.

My aunt was adopted by a fluffy black kitten who was christened Kitten eight years ago, and is Kitten to this day. Unlike Porch Kitty, Kitten is not the least bit affectionate.

If you have to change it's name, I'm voting for "PK", and suggesting "Peekie".

Awwww. I think you should keep calling her Porch Kitty. She may not live there anymore, but it can still refer to the spot where you and she became friends.

Michael Lemmer Michael Lemmer | December 2, 2009 8:23 PM

Stella, since she obviously relies on the kindness of strangers.

Optionally, you could try Annie (from the musical), Eloise (from the children's book) or my personal fave Maggie (from Cat on a hot tin roof).

Now that she's indoors with you, call her Home Kitty.

But have you asked her what her name is? She'll tell you.

dharmapupil | December 3, 2009 1:43 AM

I agree - My black outside cat was definite that her name was Marguerite. It took her a few days to decide, so you need to be patient, Bil, and listen quietly, but the answer will be unmistakable when it comes...

Lynn Miller | December 2, 2009 9:16 PM

A black cat? How about Bagheera? Okay, I know in the Kipling novel Bagheera was male, but if I had a black cat that is what I would name her.

Okay, actually I do have a black cat... but she was already named when I adopted her. If I had to do it over, I would have chosen differently. ((shame))

walterscott | December 2, 2009 9:21 PM

first off, i have enjoyed the porch kitty twitter updates, i'm with the majority so far and say stick with porch kitty or pk

I'd suggest


Has a cosmopolitan ring to it, but maintains a "porch" link

dharmapupil | December 3, 2009 1:50 AM

Darn, I thought I was going to get to be the clever one and suggest this name! (How about spellling it "Verandah"?)

Portia? It's a more formal that Porch Kitty as befits her new situation.

Amanda Joseph | December 3, 2009 1:27 AM

Starla or Charolette

rose matthews | December 3, 2009 5:58 AM

Portia. good play with words. Porch and of course Portia is a beautiful funny lesbian.

How about "Portia"
Sounds a bit like porch and I think it's a really cute name for a cat.

I think it's wonderful the way that she found her way into your home.

Seems to me she's danced her way into her rightful home. A good name is Tango.

(I did try to find a home for her. But she knew where home was all along.)

GraciesDaddy GraciesDaddy | December 3, 2009 11:52 AM


Dunno where that came from... it just struck me. Maybe I'm chanelling a Norse Goddess, i.e., "Valkyrie." Does she like mead?

Of course, you could continue with the "porch" theme... "Veranda," as was mentioned... or "Cupola" or "Gallery" or, as many mispronounce, "Porche" [but pronounced as "Portia"], "Portico" or the ultimate frou-frou: "Porte Cochere" [call her "P.C." and everyone'll think you ARE] ;)

I had a similar experience recently with a feral cat in Indianapolis. The first time I saw the beautiful pure white cat, it was shy and ran away. A few weeks later I saw it again and called, "Kitty, kitty, kitty!" and it came right up to me and practically jumped into my arms. It did the same the next day. Then I was gone for a few days and I have never seen it since.

I hope that someone adopted it --- obviously it was learning to become tame somewhere.

I think Laptopina might be a bit much- so how about Recliner Kitty?

Well, if she's as lovable and affectionate as you say she is, I have no problem with her borrowing my initials!

Paula Keiser

Don't know why, but when I received this little missive entitled "Revenge," I knew I had to send it along to you:

The Pussycat

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight: starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.

We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her "Pussycat. "

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her.

My husband (the complainer) said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks." He reminded the vet that it was I, his wife, who wanted the dirty cat, not he.

My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband "El-Cheap-O, and my husband calls the vet "El-Charge-O" . They love to hate each other and constantly "snipe" at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet... The MD"s waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor.

A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice, said, "Your wife"s pussy doesn"t stink any more". I washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose.. "Oh, and, by the way, I think she"s pregnant. God only knows who the father is!" Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting EVEN . . .