I was out tinkering in my metal shop the other day. I'm a bit of a tinkerer. I was standing at my workbench, had my steel-toed boots on, leather apron, and my little customized blowtorch in hand. Since phone applications, AKA "apps", are the new gold nuggets in the tech revenue stream, I had my welding mask down and the sparks were flying.
I learned about the new apps craze during the recent mandatory apps show-and-tell portion of every gathering. I walked up to a clutch of guys in a huddle all looking down at something in their hands, like it was the new party version of mine's-bigger-than-yours. They were comparing, bumping info from one handheld device to another. That night I started collecting apps like they were Olympic pins.
First I got Shazzam. When you don't know what ambient song is annoying the bejesus out of you in a restaurant, you just hold your phone up in the air and in seconds Shazzam tells you the name of the song you never want to hear again, original or cover. It's creepy. If you're too shy to actually look around the crowd where you are raving, just check Grindr and it tells you "Cute guy at 4 o'clock." Also creepy. The app "Near Me" takes your location via the satellite we aren't ever going to fund again and tells you what Thai restaurants, bookstores, theaters or clubs are near you.
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I don't know how to create apps Kate, so I wanted to give you a couple suggestions for real moneymakers.
1) IGEd -Instant Gay Education app that loads a quick gay education video onto any device detected to have viewed Fox News recently. You can load it with your choice of different educational articles or videos such as these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY&feature=player_embedded
http://www.queeried.com/revealed-the-states-that-wont-let-you-marry-but-watch-a-whole-lot-of-gay-porn/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y46f5T45CmE
2) IProg -Instant Progressive app that allows you to load a brief educational video/article on any device detected to have viewed Glenn Beck recently. You can load it with your choice of different articles or videos such as these:
http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2010/0426/entertainment-fox-news-simon-schuster-glenn-beck-inc.html
http://www.thefourthbranch.com/2010/04/government-spending/
3) IDoubt - Instant Doubt app that allows you to load a brief video on any device detected to have a Catholic owner who has viewed The World Over or Bill Donohue's The Catholic League recently.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VABSoHYQr6k
4) IBSatire - Instant Bigot Satire. Same as above. But as a comedian you know how satire sometimes confuses people, so keep Poe's Law in mind when choosing your satire: http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe%27s_Law
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtAi848LWdo
Just don't forget about me when the royalties start rolling in. :D
I think this is one of the funniest posts you've put on TBP, Kate. I'd buy that "change the airport TV" app in a heartbeat.