Davina Kotulski

Love Warriors: My hard-hitting marriage equality manifesto

Filed By Davina Kotulski | September 27, 2010 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Marriage Equality
Tags: gay marriage, Love Warriors, marriage equality, Prop 8, same-sex marriage

After Prop 8 passed I couldn't help feeling that it was somehow my fault, like couldn't I have done more. I raised money, I went door to door in my neighborhood, bookcover.jpgI went to farmer's markets and cultural fairs and held signs and handed out stickers. But it just wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough because I watched helpless as the ads created by the official Prop 8 campaign failed to use psychology in our favor and worse yet, did not seem conscious of the internalized homophobia broadcasting across the television screen.

As a psychologist there are some things that seem basic to me - things like cognitive dissonance, appealing to people's emotions over their intellect, and deconstructing language to see what message is really getting sent.

After rallying in the streets and in Sacramento post November 4th, I knew it was time to get busy and that I had a message to send.

My first book Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage came out in 2004, days before Gavin Newsom ignited an international firestorm for marriage equality.

Before Newsom's courageous act, I spent a lot of time arguing with my fellow LGBTQ brethren about why we needed equal marriage rights. Believe me it was not a lot of fun. We are a bitch to argue with. Queer people have so many damn opinions about marriage and the freakin' patriarchy, and sexual liberation. And it's not like I didn't have opinions about the patriarchy and gay lib too, but after realizing what we were being denied by being denied marriage rights I was enlightened.

I was enlightened by horror stories of queer couples being denied the right to visit one another in the hospital or to make burial decisions when a love one passed, unrecognized parents being kicked out of their children's lives, the poorer partner losing everything when a relationship soured, queer police officers being denied the right to their partner's pension, etc. I got enlightened and wrote a book about it so I didn't have to argue the same five points over and over again, but had something more powerful and potent to help you all get pissed off enough and what we were being denied that you would want your marriage license and your wedding cake too!

But in 2008, we were facing a different animal and unprepared. So after I licked my Prop 8 wounds, I got busy writing. And after a long wait, made even longer by the financial difficulties the gay press is facing, (I will not name names), my next book/manifesto Love Warriors: The Rise of the Marriage Equality Movement and Why It Will Prevail is here and serving up some hot new talking points, lessons in psychology, kick ass quotes from fearless civil rights leaders like Senator Mark Leno (D-CA), Dolores Huerta Co-Founder United Farm Workers, Congressman John Lewis (D-GA), Rev. Jimmy Creech, Rev. Troy Perry, Ed Fallon (Former Iowa State Rep) and much, much more.

I'd love to tell you more, but I can't turn this blog into shameless self-promotion. So see for yourself. Go to www.lovewarriorsthebook.com or ask your local independent bookstore to carry a copy. As a last resort go to Amazon.com.

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Are you going to send me a preview copy or give away any copies to contributors in a contest?

I work in marketing and advertising for a living. I'd love a copy to review.