Guest Blogger

What to Tell Your Kids About Gay Sex

Filed By Guest Blogger | April 20, 2011 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: anal sex, sodomy, straight, study

Editors' note: Steve Publicover is a former DC resident who lives in southwestern Virginia.

steve1.jpgOne of the arguments we often hear from the whiny homophobes who fight tooth and nail to restrict our rights is that if the homo-sekshuls become socially acceptable and have the right to marry and all the other rights and freedoms everyone else has, they'll have to explain to their kids the ins and outs of the gay sex.

Even gay-friendly parents can be a little anxious about telling little Johnny a story that starts with, "When two men or two women fall in love and decide that they want to make a baby... uh, no... I mean, when they want to express their love for each other, or if they've just met through Craig's List... I mean, at the dog park... Oh, dear! Maybe there's a book about this."

Let's face it, talking to your kids about sex for the first time is always difficult, especially when they ask the dreaded first question, "Do you and Mommy do that?"

That's really the crux of the matter, isn't it? Every parent knows that the whole time they're explaining the birds and the bees to their offspring, the kid is getting a mental image of Mommy and Daddy doing everything they're talking about. I think the real fear that parents have about talking to their kids about the joys gay sex, is admitting that it's not just for homos any more. When you think about it, except for one specific act, we do everything the heteros do.

In October 2010, researchers released the results of a study on the sexual practices of Americans. According an article in USA Today, "Study participants reported engaging in more than 40 combinations of acts during their most recent sexual encounters. And that did not include kissing." Logan Levkoff, a New York sexologist, said in an interview, "Sex isn't a one-size-fits-all definition."

Honestly, they could have saved time and money by just picking up a copy of the Khama Sutra.

As the saying goes, there is nothing new under the sun, including the butt sex between straight folks. There's been a lot of talk in recent years about the prevalence of anal sex among young people who want to keep their virginity until marriage. As it turns out, it's only the conversation that's new.

800px-Bar_of_Irish_Spring_deodorant_soap.JPGA 2009 article by Cory Silverberg at reveals some interesting statistics about the prevalence of certain non-pro-creative activities among America's breeders:

  • Kinsey data collected between 1938-1963 found that 9 percent of non-married males and 28 percent of non-married females had engaged in anal sex at least once.
  • One researcher, who surveyed one group of people in the 1970s then another in the late 1980s, offers a good point of comparison. In the first survey, 25 percent of women had anal sex and 8 percent reported engaging in it regularly. In the second, 72 percent had anal sex, and 23 percent reported engaging in it regularly.
  • The most recent U.S. data from a national representative sample comes from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), which was conducted on over 12,000 men and women aged 15 to 44. Results show that 34 percent of men and 30 percent of women reported engaging in anal sex at least once.

In other words, anywhere from a quarter to almost three-quarters of American women have always enjoyed a little buggery. But interestingly enough, the number of straight men driving the Hershey Highway has increased by a staggering 377% since Kinsey's time.

So if you're stumped about what to tell your precious little darlings about the mechanics of gay sex, instead of warning them not to drop the soap in the shower after gym class, remember the classic line from the Irish Spring soap commercial and say, "Manly yes, but I like it too."

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This is an informative and funny article. The bottom line about sex is that pseudo-puritanical America need to grow up! As a group, Americans are terrified of sexuality. We repress our fantasies; we deny our behaviors; and our politicians make public policy based on reaction formation. Hence, we have one of the most socially regressive societies west of Uganda. And who is responsible for this disease? Once again, it's the conservative religious people and their psychotic interpretation and mindless efforts to follow the directives of old books with little to no literal application to evolved humans. It boggles the mind how so many people are so terrified of living life to the fullest, loving and accepting others who may be different from them (and maybe more interesting) and NOT worried about what may or may not come after death. Oh, this is turning into a rant--"God" would not have put all those nerve endings in so many fun places had "he" not intended them to be stimulated. Get over it!!!!!

Or you could follow Julia Sweeney's example, and begin sex ed by talking about frogs, moving on from there to dogs, cats, and humans (straight and gay). [Warnings: NSFW; may lead to falling out of seat in laughter.]

I suppose talking to kids about straight sex is easier, in some ways, because it comes up naturally in the "How did I get here?" conversation.


One of the hardest conversations we had with our daughter was the sex talk. And her first question was, "well, what's the difference between what you guys do & what makes a baby?"