Bil Browning

The Islamic War on Thanksgiving

Filed By Bil Browning | November 23, 2011 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: Bryan Fischer, Butterball, Islamic turkey, kosher, Pam Geller, sharia turkey, War on Christmas

Just when you thought that Wal-Mart and the Gap's "War on Christmas" was destroying America's Christian values, now we find out that the Muslims have declared a "War on Thanksgiving." You may be wondering what those nefarious brown people have done this time, but this deadly secret is so shocking you'd better sit down... turkey-gun.jpgThe turkey you're about to consume tomorrow is probably a sharia bird deadset on the destruction of apple pie and football lovers nationwide.

Ayn Rand acolyte (and defender of xenophobes and birthers nationwide), Pamela Geller, fills us in on Butterball's nefarious deal with Al Queda and Muslim housewives.

A citizen activist and reader of my website wrote to Butterball, one of the most popular producers of Thanksgiving turkeys in the United States, asking them if their turkeys were halal. Wendy Howze, a Butterball Consumer Response Representative, responded: "Our whole turkeys are certified halal."
Non-Muslims in America and Europe don't deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

Yes, that's right. Now the religiphobic right is boycotting Butterball turkeys. Of course, AFA's Bryan Fischer has to join the bandwagon, tweeting "Be advised: every single Butterball turkey sold in America this Thanksgiving has been sacrificed to Allah first."

Maybe someone should tell these staunch defenders of Israel that kosher birds are killed the same way. Why do Pam Geller and Bryan Fischer hate the Jews?

And for the record, Republican president Lincoln made Thanksgiving a national holiday in an attempt to bring the North and South together. The racist Southerners rejected the day originally as an assault on their traditional values. I guess somethings never change, eh?

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Forgive me if I clarify your final comments, Bil.

Lincoln issued a proclamation in 1863 that Thanksgiving be celebrated on the last Thursday in November, for exactly the reason you state.

Toward the end of the Great Depression, retailers started a campaign to move Thanksgiving even earlier in the year so that Christmas shopping would start earlier. FDR got on this bandwagon, but the public despised the idea, and it became a popular cause for this tomfoolery to be put to a final end. On December 26, 1941 FDR reluctantly signed into law a bill from Congress fixing the date of Thanksgiving to be the fourth Thursday (not necessarily the last Thursday) of November.

Since Lincoln's 1863 proclamation did not have the force of law, Thanksgiving did not officially become a national holiday until 1941.

Indeed, Bil, some things never change: Retailers will attempt to manipulate the public every way they can think of to get you to give them your money. And only a public uprising can stop them.

Sound familiar, OWS protesters?

Don't you mean "Black Friday Eve"? There's been a war on Thanksgiving for a long, long time - and it comes from the retailers.