James Holmes

Some Good Hard Republican Polling

Filed By James Holmes | May 15, 2012 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: butt plug, GOP, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Poll Numbers, Polls, Presidential Candidates, Republican, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Sex Toys

The-Romney-ButtPlug.jpgLooking for the perfect wedding gift for that one gay republican couple you know? Or maybe something special for that homophobic asshole of a brother-in-law that is pissed because he's stuck with Romney and needs a bit more Santorum to keep him perky the rest of the campaign season? Look no further.

Matthew Epler has created just the thing for you - butt plugs fashioned from the poll numbers of the Republican Primary Season - as if it wasn't kinky enough.

He writes:

In an age of information, we rely on hard facts. Each of the shapes you see here come directly from poll data collected by Gallup. This data reects approval ratings for each GOP candidate among registered Republican voters from December 10, 2011 to April 1, 2012.
Each shape's girth is a reflection of popularity while their height is a reflection of time.

The contours of these delightful shapes conjure up the waves of amber grain and those lapping at the rim of our great nation spanning from sea to shining sea. As the battle for the Presidency rails on, we must remember that Americans may may have achieved freedom through war, but they are also a people of love. After all, in the end all we have is each other.

Are you brave enough for a Romney, or a timid Bachmann? I'll assume Santorum comes pre-lubed. Check out the video after the jump to find out how it was made.

Leave a comment

We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others.

The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door.