Joseph Gentile

Celebration Edition [What You Need to Know]

Filed By Joseph Gentile | August 07, 2012 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: 6th Circuit Court of Appeals, Beaver's, Boy Scouts of America, breakfast cereal, BSA, Chick-fil-A boycott, Cornell University, Don't Ask Don't Tell, East Atlanta, Flat Iron Bar and Restaurant, gay pride, General Mills, Georgia, hate crimes against LGBT people, hate crimes legislation, Houston, Kill the Gays bill, Michael Leisner, Michigan, Minnesota, Mitt Romney, National LGBT Veterans Memorial, Ritch Savin-Williams, same-sex marriage, sexuality, Twitter, Uganda, Washington D.C., WYNTK

Uganda.jpgInside the relative safety of the Castro, Provincetown and Fire Island, gay pride can be a cause for celebration. It also doesn't hurt their bottom line each June. However, for a tragic number of LGBT folks globally, "gay pride" couldn't be a louder oxymoron.

Odious cannot begin to describe the treatment of LGBT Ugandans at the hands of their own countrymen. Tabloid stings against the East African nation's "Top Homos," and the endorsement of a "Kill the Gays bill" by their elected officials, made international headlines for these last several years. So, why did nearly a hundred Ugandans assemble on the banks of Lake Victoria last Saturday for event organizer Kasha Jacqueline Nabagesera to ask, "Can you imagine that the worst place in the world to be gay is having Gay Pride?"

Columnist Alexis Okeowo of the New Yorker recently reported from the heart of that darkness, and discovered that Uganda's first recorded Gay Pride event wasn't simply wanted, "but needed." Here are your marching orders! It's what you need to know:

  • You can't hide your lying eyes. Even if you try, Prof. Ritch Savin-Williams, a developmental psychologist of Cornell University, and author of The New Gay Teenager, can see right through them. In a study published to the scholarly journal, PLoS One, Savin-Williams and his research team revealed that an individual's sexuality can be deduced by the involuntary dilation of that test subject' pupils after exposing them to erotic imagery.
  • Ten-hut! Now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell [DADT] finally belongs to the dustbin of American history, it's about time the home front recognized LGBT military vets for their sacrifices. That's why a board of directors hopes you might be able to spare a donation to help realize that dream of a National LGBT Veterans Memorial upon the site of Washington D.C.'s historical Congressional Cemetery; possibly by Memorial Day of 2014.
  • Silly fundies. Trix are for kids, and arson ISN'T part of a daily, balanced breakfast! Just try explaining that though to Minnesotan hothead Michael Leisner, 65, for his fiery FAIL protesting General Mills' serialized support of same-sex marriage.
  • Presumptive Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney emerged from a politically-induced amnesia yesterday to remind the electorate that, in the simpler, primitive year of 1994, he unabashedly supported the induction of gay Scouts and adult leaders into the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), as a then-member of the BSA's National Executive Board, and still does to this very day - if you'll also let him "support the right of the Boy Scouts of America to decide what it wants to do on that issue"?
  • Hate the sin, but love the hysteria? Three Michigan pastors recently lost their argument against the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act before a federal appeals court after paraphrasing the Orwellian opinion that "some animals are more equal than others." Despite the spirited assertions of the Christian ministers that merely preaching about the evils of homosexuality could be mischaracterized as a "thought crime," the 16 judges of the Cincinnati-based United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit didn't see the light in their argument. Ultimately, the court ruled that quoting Scripture doesn't reflect an immediate intent to hurt gays and lesbians.
  • If you're hungry for a laugh, Tweeter @GodlessAtheist recommends stopping by the Flat Iron Restaurant and Bar of East Atlanta, Georgia and giving their home-style Godless Fried Chicken Lesbian Sandwich a try. Not to be outdone, Houston-based restaurant Beaver's spices up its menu by tempting customers to taste their Chick-on-Chick Fillet, described as "Two Loving Chicken Breasts Married on Toasted Buns w/ a Honey-Mustard Witness + Joined in Celebration w/ Tolerant Fries."

(Ugandan Pride graphic via Photobucket)

Leave a comment

We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others.

The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door.