Bil Browning

Chick-fil-A Conspiracy Theories [Open Thread]

Filed By Bil Browning | August 14, 2012 5:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: Adam Lambert, Chick-fil-A boycott, conspiracy theories, Dan Cathy, open thread

After seeing the post "Did Chick-Fil-A Franchise Block Adam Lambert From Winning American Idol?" on JoeMyGod today, I knew I had to go check it out. According to Kerry Kolsch of Yahoo Voices, bigstock-Mobbing-4494880.jpgone franchise owner of the fast food chicken chain deliberately sought to keep the flamboyant Lambert from winning.

While every measurable indicator favored an Adam Lambert victory around the nation, back in Conway, Arkansas Chick-fil-A mounted a campaign to change that outcome. Week after week people gathered to vote at Chick-fil-A sponsored events. It was not just ordinary voting, but power texting with multiple phones and after hour voting with West coast go-phones. Voters were encouraged to vote thousands of times each with free food and prizes. It was an appealing incentive in this sleepy college town. Keep in mind that they could rack up an impressive number of votes. 10,000 votes from 2,000 people = 20 million votes, 3,000 people = 30 million votes. There were about 3,000 people at the Vote Party on the night of the final. Allen Kiser attended with his Chick-fil-A cows baring name tags that identified themselves as Vote Party "Staff".

For weeks Kiser stuffed his take out sandwich bags with "Vote Party" fliers at his local restaurant, he fed the late night voters free sandwiches, he gave out hundreds of food coupons and Chick-fil-A toy stuffed cows. Kaiser made up gift baskets as prizes for the highest voters and a grand prize of free food for a year.

The result was that a very ordinary singer won the contest.

I'll admit. I laughed long and hard over this story. Chick-fil-A versus Adam Lambert now, eh? What's left for everyone's favorite anti-gay boogeyman now? That led me to today's open thread topic. What other nefarious deeds has the chicken shack committed? Here's some to get you started:

  • Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy is a member of the Illuminati. The shape of their waffle fries can be found in the etchings on the back of a $2 bill.
  • Chick-fil-A is responsible for global warming.
  • Dan Cathy killed Osama bin Laden because he's a member of Israeli intelligence.
  • Chick-fil-A is secretly owned by Scientoligists.
  • The chicken strips are people!

What've you got? Leave 'em in the comments section.

(Evil villain clipart via Bigstock)

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