Joseph Gentile

Drunk Monkey Edition [What You Need to Know]

Filed By Joseph Gentile | August 21, 2012 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: Alan Chambers, alcohol, All India Third Gender Sports Meet, Ann Simonelli, anti-gay discrimination, Bellevue, boycott, Brittney Leon, Cleve Jones, Coley Oneal Mitchell, domestic partnership, Don't Ask Don't Tell, election 2012, employment non-discrimination, Equality Forum, ex-gay ministries, Exodus International Ministries, Fortune 500, Frank Mandelbaum, Georgia Health Sciences University, GOP, Hyatt Hotels, India, inheritance, Jim Alling, Las Vegas, lesbians, Lisa Ling, marriage equality, Mitt Romney, monkeys, Nevada, Our America, OWN Network, party platforms, Prop. 8, Referendum 74, Republicans, Robert Mandelbaum, same-sex marriage, sports, Spring Valley Hosptial, T-Mobile, transgender, Washington, WYNTK

Drunk Monkey.jpgThirty-two-year-old Coley Oneal Mitchell isn't your typical party animal. However, that's not for me to decide. Perhaps you should ask the two research monkeys the inebriated lab technician liberated from their cages at Georgia's Health Sciences University (GSHU) Animal Services Lab?

Partially nude, and allegedly smashed, campus police weren't monkeying around last Monday when they arrested Mitchell before they remanded him to the care of the Richmond County Sheriff's Office.

"GHSU does not condone behavior that conflicts with the research, education and clinical missions of the university and employees are expected to conduct themselves, at all times, with integrity and respect," a released statement from school officials read.

Upon closer examination by their vet, it appears the monkeys weren't directly harmed by Mitchell's party foul. But still, what a buzzkill.

Never have I ever drank a monkey under the table! It's what you need to know:

  • It might appear as if Republicans did an about face regarding the fate of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," but don't be fooled! Despite dropping DADT as one of the planks underlying their party platform, the Romney campaign still embedded a squishy aside about "social experimentation."
  • "I often say, some of the most complex and difficult issues of our time seem to collide on the backs of housekeepers," observed gay rights activist Cleve Jones; explaining to a reporter why boycotting international hotel chain, and Prop. 8 supporter, Hyatt matters to the LGBT community.
  • Brittney Leon, 26, nearly lost her life at a Nevada hospital due to complications from her pregnancy, but her domestic partner - Ann Simonelli, 41 - had no idea. An admissions officer at Las Vegas' Spring Valley Hospital prohibited Simonelli from making major medical decisions for her girlfriend of six years.
  • Stick together. That's the message Jim Alling, T-Mobile's interim CEO and COO, had for employees at its Bellevue, Wash.-based headquarters by pledging a $25,000 donation from T-Mobile USA supporting Referendum 74, and by extension, marriage equality.
  • Since 2004, more than 150 Fortune 500 companies voluntarily added sexual orientation to their employment non-discrimination policies, pushing the compliance rate of the Equalty Forum's Fortune 500 project above 95 percent!
  • Nearly 150 transgender athletes from eight Indian states are lacing up for the nation's first "All India Third Gender Sports Meet" next month.
  • Entrepreneur Frank Mandelbaum hadn't willed his son, Robert, to refute his sexual orientation. He actually embraced Robert, and his husband, Jonathan O'Donnell before passing five years ago. Which is why it's that much more strange the elder Mandelbaum would withhold his $180,000 trust from the couple's child, 16-month-old Cooper ... unless the younger Mandelbaum marries whom?!
  • Can you pray the gay away? Watch Alan Chambers, the former leader of Exodus International, discredit the doctrine of "reparative therapy" he aggressively preached tonight at 9/10 Central on Our America , a documentary TV series hosted by journalist Lisa Ling for the OWN Network.
(Drinking Monkey graphic via Photobucket)

Leave a comment

We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others.

The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door.