John M. Becker

We Killed Olympic Wrestling: Blame the Gays [Vol 548,776]

Filed By John M. Becker | February 13, 2013 2:15 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Marriage Equality
Tags: blame the gays, Olympic wrestling, Olympics, Olympics kill wrestling, wrestling competition

gay_wrestling.jpgI'm beginning to understand why so many anti-gay activists speak of homosexuality as having some kind of evil magnetism, a hypnotic and irresistible allure. Quite frankly, in their world homosexuality apparently carries with it a tremendous amount of power. To hear the bigots tell it, gays have caused all sorts of calamities: mass bird die-offs, the Rwandan genocide, the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Sandy Hook shooting, the Aurora shooting, the Benghazi attack, the 1994 Northridge earthquake, Haiti's 2010 earthquake, the 2011 Japanese tsunami and earthquake, the August 2011 East Coast earthquake, Hurricane Bonnie, Hurricane Andrew, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Isaac, Superstorm Sandy... all the way back to good ol' Sodom and Gomorrah. With this kind of power, you'd think everyone would "choose" to be gay! (Because yeah, it's a choice, remember?)

And now there's another item to add to this list. It's not nearly as dubious, but every bit as ludicrous: Olympic wrestling. Seriously.

Yesterday, the executive board of the International Olympic Committee voted to drop wrestling -- a sport that's been part of the Olympics since ancient times -- starting with the 2020 Summer Games. Wrestling fans, athletes, and coaches around the world are naturally disappointed, but none so irrationally as Russian wrestling coach Vladimir Uruimagov. In an interview yesterday with Russian website R-Sport, Uruimagov said that he blames wrestling's Olympic demotion solely on the limp-wristed queers:

Gay rights activists with a vendetta against masculinity are behind plans to cut wrestling from the Olympic program, the coach of a London 2012 gold medal-winner told R-Sport on Tuesday...

If they expel wrestling now, that means that gays will soon run the whole world," coach Vladimir Uruimagov said, calling the decision "a blow to masculine origins."

He added: "It turns out this committee is headed by representative of these minorities," clarifying that he meant sexual minorities.

Uruimagov called on wrestling fans to petition the IOC to reinstate wrestling, suggesting that the future of humanity was at stake.

"It is necessary for millions around the world who understand that this is a man's sport and who understand the need to continue the human race to go out and explain their position to the Olympic Committee," he said. "We should prove and explain that in any other case there is no future."

So just to recap, Teh Gay is killing Olympic wrestling as part of a master plan to "run the whole world" and ultimately destroy humanity. (Quick, someone alert Pat Robertson!)

Fellow members of the Gay Mafia, how have you used your destructive powers today?

(Hat tip: Joe)

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