John M. Becker

Failed Florida Mayoral Candidate: Voters Chose Lucifer Over Jesus

Filed By John M. Becker | May 16, 2013 3:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Politics
Tags: Anna Pierre, batshit crazy, election campaigns, Florida, Jesus, local politics

anna_pierre2.jpgAnna Pierre, the failed candidate for mayor of North Miami, Florida who accused her opponents of casting voodoo spells on her and said her campaign was endorsed by Jesus Christ -- but couldn't muster even one percent of the vote in the actual election -- isn't taking her shellacking lying down.

The Miami Herald reports that in a "rambling mass email" and Facebook post yesterday morning, the candidate, who styles herself Princess Anna Pierre, disputed the number of votes she received, claimed to be "swimming" in the blood of Jesus, said the election was rigged, and warned that the voters of North Miami "chose 'Luciefer' [sic] over Jesus."

She then congratulated "the winner, Ms. Lucie Tondreau," despite the fact that the winner is not yet known and will be determined by a runoff election on June 4. Tondreau, who finished second with 28 percent of the vote and is endorsed by the current mayor, will face off against former North Miami mayor Kevin Burns, an openly gay candidate who won 33 percent.

For her part, Ms. Tondreau told the Herald that Ms. Pierre was just looking for a way to justify her loss in a race "she had no chance of winning in the first place." Tondreau continued:

I can understand Ms. Pierre's frustration. She used voodoo, that didn't work. And then, Jesus endorsed her. If she got Jesus' endorsement, that's the biggest endorsement you can get. Why is she worried about who endorsed me?

Despite Mr. Christ's apparently having backed a different horse in the mayoral race, Ms. Pierre is undeterred. "Jesus did not forsake me. God has something bigger for me; His will has been done," she reportedly said.

At the conclusion of her incoherent Facebook missive, Ms. Pierre cited a passage from the (non-existent) biblical book of Marc, advised supporters to save her campaign fliers as souvenirs because they "might be worth a lot one day," and closed with the entire text of Psalm 75, with a cryptic numerological reference thrown in for good measure.

Sheesh. I don't know whether to hope that Anna Pierre rides quietly off into the sunset or sticks around to entertain us some more.

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